Tranny Manny Strikes Again!

Hey disciples, I am back. I meant to write last night, but I completely forgot. I was planning to, and had just been talking about it no more than 6 minutes beforehand. I usually blog laying in bed, not always but that is what I had intended to do last evening. Instead of listening to music I put the TV on, and became instantaneously vegitized, my blog blew my mind. I was watching stand up on Comedy Central. The comedienne was named Anjelah Johnson and it was so funny!

So I was gone for a week, home to Pennsylvania for Christmas. The traveling was hectic and crazy. On my way there, I had a connection to make in Chicago. I was supposed to leave Chicago at 11:30 and arrive in Philadelphia at 2:30. When I got in to Chicago, my connecting flight was delayed, it said it wouldn't leave until 2:30, when I was already supposed to be back in PA. Ugh! Danielle had set it up online that if my flight was delayed or anything that I would get texts sent to my cellular device. I went to some restaurant and got a taco salad although it was only ten a.m. I kept getting text messages with different times. It said my flight wouldn't leave until 2:30, which I had already gotten off the departure screens, then I got one that said 1:20 we'd leave, then 2:30 again, it kept changing. I had called my mom to let her know it would be late, so she didn't have to leave the house so early and wait around the airport. So when I finished my salad I went over to wait at the gate, for hours. Or so I thought. Suddenly they came on the P.A. and said, "Um, oh just kidding, we are going to leave on time at 11:30 after all." They didn't say it exactly like that but. So I called my mom to tell her I was boarding in 5 minutes. She had to rush to get ready because it would take her as long to drive to the airport as it would for me to fly there. So that was that dramatic entrance. Mom and two of my girlfriends came to meet me, though they didn't meet me right away because they were at the wrong baggage claim haha. Speaking of baggage, Danielle asked when she was dropping me off if I had packed everything I own so that I wouldn't have to come back. I said it was only the essentials. But we were both right, everything I own is essential. I had two enormous duffel bags both full to bursting. When I was repacking to leave, I realized that I have no concept of time, I probably could have changed into a new outfit every 4-6 hours all week with everything I took. Clothes horse, what can I say? So then when I was getting ready the night before I was to return to MS, I discovered my driver's license was no where to be found. I had been bitching about not wanting to leave, be careful what you wish for. I didn't really not want to return, but without I.D. I couldn't. So I slept for like 2 and a half hours, between 7 and 9 a.m. I know that that is only 2 hours but it was around those times. The rest of the time I was hyperventilating and having heart palpitations and looking everywhere for my stinking license. I had gone to the club on Christmas Eve, and I left my wallet in the car and only took in my license and cover charge, so that is how it wound up not in my wallet where it belongs. I ended up finding it in my room luckily.

I hate to go to the club by myself, I don't know why I always insist on doing so. I always think its a good idea, until I get there, and I end up just making an appearance, as if people notice or care, and leaving. I stayed a lot longer than I have in the past when I go solo, but I didn't close the club. It was dead, I have never seen it that empty, except one of the first outings when we thought it was a good plan to turn up right at 10 when they opened even tho no one goes out until midnight. And that time it eventually got crowded. It is usually impossible to move in this place, but it was wide open. I felt even more conspicuous since it was so empty. But it was decorated cute for Christmas. I didn't see anyone I knew, tho I didn't really expect to. I was surprised they were open that night anyway, but I had to go while I was home, just because.

HOLD THAT THOUGHT, I WILL PICK THIS UP LATER, OLIVIA JUST DOVE HEADFIRST OFF THE SOFA INTO THE COFFEE TABLE AND I AM HOLDING A BAG OF FROZEN VEGGIES ON HER HEAD. YIKES.

xoxo, Travvy

Happy Birthday Amber!

Today is Amber's B-day. Darren bought her cake and everything. In case you didn't know, Amber is the dog. Jacob is the parrot. He repeats everything. One of the characters in Thumbelina is played by Charo. Jacob started saying, "Cuchie-Cuchie-Cuchie!" Or however you would spell what Charo always says haha. Mommy taught him a new word this evening, "douchebag." How nice.

Mirth

I don't know why this is called mirth, I just found it funny. Olivia had a Christmas program at school, so Danielle took the kids to and from school. I made their lunch upon their return and had some milk. I used a plastic cup and Jacob yelled at me. He said to use a glass, not a cup, that it is his cup, I have to use a glass and so on. Since he said that it was his cup, I asked if I could borrow it. He said "Sure!" so I was like, then why was this an issue in the first place? That's the most interesting thing that happened today. Darren came home and played out back with the kids for a while. Then he had to go make phone calls for work so he went out front and I had to run interference. As soon as one or the other parent is in the vicinity but not in direct line of sight, Olivia has a fit. She lost her mind, and then she would get over it, and then start whining and crying again, and then forget, and then start again. Ultimately she was sent to her room, which just makes it worse because then she screams. And I sent Jacob to his room because I watched him drag an upside down Rubbermade tub thing that is to keep the trains in, to use as a stool to reach the kitchen counter and he was trying to get at the knives in the butcher block. ... Yeah...

xoxo, Travvy

Who was that Masked Man?

Yesterday Danielle asked me to ship some Christmas packages at the Post Office and take Jacob for a haircut while Olivia was in school, and to do something fun with him after, because he acted like a haircut chair was the electric chair. All morning he was a terror trying to get him ready. I don't want to get dressed, I don't want to brush my teeth, I don't want a haircut, blah mahhh whaaaa! So we dropped Olivia off and went to the Post Office. A guy held the door which was nice. There was a significant line, but it moved very fast! I was surprised. Jacob was well behaved. Then we went to get his haircut. Dun Dun DUN.

I took him to the place right around the corner from the house where we went last time. I don't remember if I told the story of the first time we went there. If I did, here it is again, and if i didn't, here it is. We got there and I don't know what time it was but the sign said CLOSED. So we just sat in the car, or I just sat there and he was bouncing off the walls. I had unbuckled him so he was climbing everywhere. We had probably gotten there at half past something, so I figured that they would open at the top of the hour. When they still weren't open I took Jacob and we went up, I read the hours, and we went in. Here they had just forgotten to switch the sign. Pfft.

So I took him in this time and the hairdresser who did him last time was like, "OH did you come back to see me!?" Jacob had no problem with getting a haircut last time but this time he was having none of it. He went and sat on one of the sofas in the waiting area and he said, "I'll sit here." And I said that he had to sit in...and I couldn't think what I wanted to say. I was gonna say the haircut chair or something but that sounded dumb and so I just kind of trailed off, and she prompted me, "Patricia." So I was like, "You have to sit in Ms. Patricia's chair." Haha. She told him that she had a sucker for him, and asked him if he wanted it first instead of at the end? So the lollipop lured him from the couch to the chair. She said that they had to make it a game, that when she was cutting his hair he had to keep it in his mouth so that it wouldn't get hair on it. That was so smart. Kudos to Ms. Patricia. When I went with Danielle to get Olivia's cut they gave her a lollipop and it got hair allllll over it.

I realized while I was reading a magazine waiting for Jacob, that I was reading the same one I had read the last time. The issue of Life & Style from the week of May 25. Haha. It was old news the first time I read it. Now it was even older, not just because it happened so long ago, but because I had already read it. Aye yigh yigh.

Last night I went out on a date. He was kinda conceited but I guess he had the right to be, he was devastatingly handsome. We went to Sweet Peppers Deli for dinner and then to the movies to see New Moon. He made me go dutch, what a jerk! And he was checking out other guys all night. He didn't say two words to me the whole night. Over all, not a bad date. I'm seeing him again today! Haha. Who was that masked man? It was me, I went out by myself. Haha. I had to pay for myself and I wasn't talking to myself obviously. And I was checking people out. Hahaha.

The movie was good, but I was almost more interested in the previews. Not the previews for the movie but the previews before the movie. They played that Coca-Cola ad that I love with the guy going through the party singing about all the people that are there. "My (so and so), my allergist, and the first girl I ever kissed--you're beautiful, I love you.--..." That part is my favorite! If you haven't seen that try to find it online, I love that ad, haha. There are all these obscure random people, your allergist? Haha, why? That wasn't one of the things that distracted from the feature presentation, it was good though. So Letters to Juliet looks like a goodie, I will probably want to see that, but the real show stopper that I MUST MUST SEE at least once in theatres is NINE. It looks so good! With that ensemble cast how can it not be? Nicole Kidman, Kate Hudson, Judi Dench, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, Sophia Loren and most importantly FERGIE! I had seen a preview of the movie on television but it was muted and I only saw flashes of Nicole and some of the other actresses, I was definitely interested in seeing it, but now I have to! I didn't know Fergie was in it. How exciting! I love her. I love all the others too but Fergie is the best! It made me disappointed when New Moon started because I was all hyped for other movies that I saw trailers for and then I was like, Oh right, I'm just seeing this old thing. Boo. I don't know when NINE is coming out, I saw a poster that said December 2009, and the trailer just said this Holiday Season. So it is coming out very soon I gather but isn't out yet.

Incase there is any confusion, Fergie of Black Eyed Peas fame, not Sarah, Duchess of York.

So I'll be back later to update you on today's events. Ta-ta!

xoxo, Travvy

The Great Cookie Crusade (& Over the Weekend)

I only have four fingernails!? The other six I ripped off at the traffic light leaving the neighborhood. There was an accident and we sat there for at least a half hour, no exaggeration. The lights were working but there was a fire police directing traffic. So every time the light turned green, Olivia helpfully shouted GO TRAVIS! I was so aggravated. It was worse because the lane I was in had been moving but he stopped me just as I got to the intersection and let the other direction go. And then he stopped everyone. And then he let the other direction that just had their turn go again. And we just sat there and I had a four year old back seat driver, and just ugh! So finally I turned right instead of going straight, and went miles out of the way. It took us over an hour to get to Wal*Mart which is only 20 minutes away tops.

Then when we parked Jacob said with desperation that he needed to go potty. He had already pee-peed in his pants today. So we made a mad dash through the parking lot and through the store. Luckily he waited til we were in the bathroom to yell "I HAVE TO DROP THE DEUCE!" Whatever, thanks, just do it. Then Olivia had to use the bathroom. Then we could finally get the stinking cookies we went out for in the first place. For Jacob's school Christmas party on Wednesday. I called Danielle to see if she required anything else, and she reminded me that she had her monthly Bunco Girls' Night tonight and I'd have to improvise dinner. We went to Burger King.

We got home and watched the Grinch and Horton. And I put them in the bath. Then I went on Facebook and in the meantime the bathroom was flooded. The water was turned off but the kids splashed everywhere. Then Danielle got home to wash them and read to them and put them to bed. Now we are watching the first half of Pride and Prejudice.

Saturday everybody went shopping but me. Melanie came over to return a dish and when I said I was home all by my lonesome she invited me over to her house. I watched she and Brent play Guitar Hero, singing and playing guitar. And then they somehow managed to get me to sing. I sang Ex-Girlfriend by No Doubt. I got a 98%! Then they went to pick up dinner and I went back to Danielle and Darren's. But they invited me back over later to watch the Ugly Truth. It was a lot of fun. When it was over I came back and watched the second half of Pride and Prejudice which is why we are watching the first half now. I started reading the book Sunday too.

Darren made a turkey dinner yesterday. It was very good. He told me that it should be a blog entry. And to say that if anyone should ever have the opportunity to become a nanny to be sure that they work for someone who is a good cook. Just because he suggested I say it doesn't mean I don't think its true. Haha.

I guess thats it. I am distracted by the movie. The end.

xoxo, Travvy

we went to canton tonight to see the lights and window displays. it was pretty. the end.

xoxo, Travvy

The Fame

In Sex and the City: The Movie, the Girls go to Christie's Auction House and see this flower ring that Samantha is planning to buy. She says, "When I saw it in the catalog, I said to Smith, 'This flower ring is the essence of me. One of a kind, full of fire." Carrie adds, "And a little too much."

Danielle sent me to Goodwill today to drop off some comforters. Against my better judgement, instead of just leaving, I decided to browse. I found this coat that I had to have! This coat is the essence of me-cheap, tacky, full of fire (some might say I'm a (make an air-quotes gesture) "flamer," and this ugly coat should be set on fire. Haha)

It was cheap in the price sense, $5, and cheap in the quality sense. It was made of some sort of awful, fuzzy fabric, in a giraffe print. The underside of the collar was this cheap shiny black that was the same as the lining. It was fabulous! My initial thought was that I had toyed with the idea of going as Fran Drescher for this past Halloween. The Nanny get it? Haha. So it would be perfect for next year. But the more I thought about it I imagined rocking it all over town, I could so pull it off! It would compliment any ensemble! I was thinking how I could accessorize it with wearing my black studded belt outside of the coat instead of with my jeans. Its too big for my waist anyway and the studs make it heavy, so it doesn't hold my jeans up, it pulls them down haha. I left it because I figured that Goodwill doesn't take plastic, but I didn't ask. I wanted badly to go back, but I tried my best to distract myself until it was time to pick up the kids.

After naps and some Spongebob I took the kids to the playground. When we arrived it was deserted and we had everything to ourselves which I thought was such a novelty. After a few minutes a group of some teenagers meandered into the park. They started climbing on the equipment and stuff. We were at the wooden playground that is like Timbertown. I don't remember what its called. I talked about on here before. Anyway.

At one point, Jacob went down a slide. It was one of the cylindrical ones so you can't see the bottom from the top because the "roof" part is blocking the view. I was up on the equipment close by to the slide, and I watched Jacob go down, Olivia right behind. I could see the bottom from my vantage point but I didn't look til Jacob came to the end and a gallon of water shot out around him. There was a big thunderstorm last night and it rained. There was no puddle at the bottom of the slide on the ground, where I would have noticed, but there was an ocean of collected water at the end on the bottom of the slide itself. He was drenched, the back of his pants were like 10 shades darker than the front. He started crying immediately, but he stopped when I said we should go home. He wanted to stay instead of changing. Olivia got some of the left over water on the bottoms of her pant legs but Jacob was the worst.

So these teenagers were on the equipment at the other end of the playground. Jacob and Olivia were running through on that side and they didn't mind them. Then they started to take positions and I saw a kid not on the equipment had a camera. So I told the children to come back to the other end where I still was to get out of the way of the picture. There were two boys and three girls in the group. One boy had the camera, and the other boy started talking to me.

He asked if I wanted to be in a "techno dance movie." Techno? Dancing? Movie? All of these are right up my alley! But no, thank you, I couldn't possibly. (wink-wink.) He said that they were doing it for school and please could I be in it? The girls were all like yeah pleassseee? I asked, "What, with no music?" And he said no, just random movements and he demonstrated haha. I said that I simply had to have music, I can't dance without music. Wouldn't you know, they procured a laptop. Ta-dah! He waved it at me, "look we have music!"

Well, they had met my prima donna demands, and I do so love to exhibit my dancing prowess, so what the heck. True to form, I was center stage, ever the diva. I don't know what the project was or why but I have nothing to do with it, yet I am the star of the show.

Danielle asked if I kept it PG or if I "porned it up a little?" I didn't drop it down as low as I normally would, I was behind a railing so I would have just disappeared. Haha. I did shake my bootie tho, I think high enough to get into the shot.

They all thanked me profusely and said that Mr. or Mrs. So and So would looove it! I loved it. I'm famous! Well, more famous! I texted a bunch of people because it was too funny! Maybe I won't get fame from it necessarily, but I hope for infamy within their class, maybe the school! If not at least they'll remember it. I hope they get an A+ and extra credit for having me in there. I wish I could somehow see the finished product. But just the experience was so funny. I should have written about it right after the fact, I feel like I thought of phrases and how I would word things when I wrote about it but I forgot them, and the story seems watered down.

So there are all these branches in the backyard that fell during the t-storm. When I let amber out this morning this branch was sticking straight out of the ground like in this picture, I solemnly swear that I did not do this! It must have fallen from the tree so hard and just went in like that. It looks like a little tree, but its a branch. Luckily no one was standing there... Eek.

xoxo, Travvy

Jacob was a little terror today. Olivia wasn't bad. Danielle had a Habitat meeting so I took them to gymnastics. Jacob behaved better than ever has when he was at gymnastics. Probably because they were going to get Frosty's from Wendy's after if they were good. Here is a picture of Jacob while we were in the car waiting for Olivia to be done at school. I told him to smile but he kept opening his mouth. Finally he smiled after like a bunch of takes.

I made some more title banners for my blog today. Valentine's Day and just for everyday not holiday related. You can't see them tho until its their time of year or season. Something to look forward to.

xoxo, Travvy

The Grinch

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.

"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

thinks...

"Naaaaaaaaaahhh!"

xoxo, Travvy

Disclaimer's Revenge!

I am not really a tranny i just thought it was funny that it rhymed with manny. You should too. And if you are offended either because you are a tranny or because trannies are offensive I don't care! If you're offended because you are transgendered, don't be because i'm not making fun, and if you are just offended by tranny on principal too bad just don't go on here, duh?

xoxo, Travvy

I feel compelled to repost my very first blog entry here. Its for people that may be just joining the blog and not reading all the back to the beginning. Also the main reason is that my Pop-Pop is laboring under the impression that I am actually a transvestite. Sorry to disappoint, alas, I am but a poseur. Just pretending. Olivia doesn't grasp pretend. If Jacob is playing like he is someone or something other than Jacob, she corrects him. "NO YOU'RE NOT A MERMAID!! YOU'RE JACOB!!" she shouts. Haha.

xoxo, Travvy

Ugh

Sorry, about half way down the previous post the layout somehow got all screwed up and lines are broken up randomly. i don't know how to fix it, i did try tho. what a pain, stupid thing

xoxo, Travvy

HEAVY F (_) ( K ! l\l G METAL!

I have a ridiculous amount of stories to cover. This could conceivably be the longest blog yet, and there have been some mighty long ones! Although, I always think at the start that some of them are going to be eye-bleedingly long, but they turn out to be short anyway.
I don't remember anything particularly interesting happening on Thursday when I hadn't updated because I was uber-tired. Actually, I don't remember anything of Thursday... I know I had fun stuff to share because I was debating a full-length post, but I opted for the cop-out, 'Sorry I'm Wiped.' I so was. But I can't think why. I may be confusing dates and end up telling the events of Thursday as if they happened a different day. If not they will return to me at some point and I will enlighten you as to what went down. If not, then they weren't note-worthy.
Friday. Friday, while Olivia was in school, I took Jacob everywhere possible that I could think of besides Toys 'R' Us. He always wants to go there to play with the Thomas the Train set, and I never want to go there. I haven't taken the kids to Barnes and Noble lately. I should do that, because they have the same train sets, and chairs, which is why I don't like to go to Toys 'R' Us, because Jacob will be entertained for eternity, but my energy is completely zapped and there I have to stand there, I could sit at B&N. So one thing I do remember about Thursday is that we had gone to Toys 'R' Us. I am fairly certain we went to the mall before that, because Toys 'R' Us isn't open at nine when we drop Olivia off, so we have to go somewhere in the meantime. Anyway, Jacob wanted to go to Toys 'R' Us again and I was so not interested. I took him to Target. Then said that I wanted to go to Michaels. You know, the art store. Jacob, however, doesn't recognize Michaels as the name of a store, he thought we were going to Michael's, apostrophe "s," like we were going to the home of someone named Michael. So he was asking me "Who's Michael?" I was trying to explain that Michaels is a store but he wasn't understanding. When we got there, he kept asking where Michael was. After browsing Michaels we went to Bed Bath and Beyond and Best Buy. We also went to the Dollar Tree.

This reminded me of what I did on Thursday. I bought the kids' Christmas presents. I went to Marshalls and TJ Maxx. I got them trains. Gordon for Olivia, and Naughty Diesel for Naughty Jacob. Shhh! Don't tell them!!! I also went to Target and bought them each a book.

While at Bed Bath and Beyond, Jacob had to go potty. This was an experience. I think I took him into a public bathroom once before, and both times were traumatic for me. Public restrooms, next to death by drowning, are my biggest phobia. They are so gross and dirty. Well every imaginable part of Jacob was all up on every imaginable part of the toilet. I don't want to touch anything when I go in, and he thought nothing of hands all over any surface. Shudder.

When we had browsed the entirety of all three aforementioned stores, we went back to the car, and I looked at the clock. There was still over an hour until it was time to pick up Olivia. I couldn't think of anywhere we could hang out besides the dreaded toy store. I think we must have been to the mall that day too, that or I was too tired to walk all over the mall. I can't remember. I need to update the same day, but Friday night I went out which I'll get to, so I didn't have the opportunity.

We went to Toys 'R' Us. There was a little boy playing with the trains with his grandma. He gave some of the engines and cars to Jacob because he had previously had them all connected in one gigantically long train. So Jacob was playing and this little boy was playing and his "Gee-Gee" as I found that she was called. He didn't call her that, he was only little, but that is how she referred to herself. She was adorable by the way. Even after giving Jacob some of the train, it was still unmanageably long. They could barely pull/push it along the track with out part of it going of the rails and/or coming disconnected. Everytime the train derailed, Gee-Gee said "OH MAN! Did you have a WRECK?!" or similar variations. Sometimes the little boy would shout "OH MAN!" and Gee-Gee would ask "Oh no, did yo have a wreck?" I swear, she was too funny! Jacob started to say "Oh Mannnn!" if his train had a mishap, the three of them were the cutest thing ever. Gee-Gee was like, "Oh did I teach him something??" She told me the little guy was her great-grandbaby and that he was two and a half. For how much I usually dislike trudging to Toys 'R' Us, they definitely made for a fun time!

Friday night I went with Catherine, Adam and Hayden to Hayden's soccer game. I LOVED it! Sooo fun! Catherine thought/thinks I was/am lying but it was a blast! She told Hayden that if he scored a(n apparently nonexistent) double hat-trick that they would go to Hooters. If he gets a hat-trick, three goals, then they have wings. The double hat-trick, which Adam, who is Hayden's Coach, said isn't a term, (hence the allegedly nonexistent,) is two hat-tricks or six goals. Catherine, Hayden and I all knew what she meant. So she said that they would take Hayden to Hooters if he achieved this, that even she would go. Then she added, Travis will come too! On our way to the game, it started snowing! Snowing! It was sticking and everything. I wasn't necessarily impressed, being from up north, but Catherine said that it hadn't snowed like that here in probably about ten years, so I was somewhat moved, haha.

Catherine told me that I had to jump up and down and scream if

Hayden scored. She wasn't familiar with the patented Screaming a laTravvy at this point. Poor thing had no idea what she was asking.

Anyone who has been to Dorney Park, or the Tri-State area of

Dorney does. My speciality is the Swinging Ship, or other fairly tame rides, the Scrambler. I cause a down-right scene! Mortifying friends! It wasn't Hayden, but somebody on his team scored, and that was

all I needed. I let out my best blood-curdling, glass, eardrum, and

soul shattering, ear-bleed, nosebleed and seizure inducing piercing

horror movie scream-queen shriek.

I think Catherine may have experienced temporary peripheral

hearing loss in her right ear, the side I was standing on. She said

that boy I sure scream loud! I was stupid excited the whole game.

Who'd have thought me to be such an avid sports fan? Though I did

share with them later the story of how I utterly humiliated my cousin Tyler obnoxiously cheering for him at one of his baseball games.

From the game, Catherine's parents picked Hayden up and Adam,

Catherine and I were off to the club to see a concert by our friend

Joey. They know him through church and I met him at the Poker

Game. His band is Papercut Massacre. They are on tour, look

them up and go see them! We saw them at Fire, it was very fun!

The club wasn't a place we would generally hang out, I am all about

the techno, dance clubs! Catherine wanted to go from Fire in search

of a gay club but Adam wasn't up for it. We were out pretty late so it

was just as well, when we got back I almost immediately crashed.

While we were there we saw a guy with a shirt that on the back wasemblazoned the title of this blog. I encrypted the naughty word but I

think it should be fairly easy to crack the code, its pretty obvious.

Catherine said I needed that shirt, and I said I would go get it from

the guy. Upon closer inspection of him, I told her that he could keep

it. Not cute. Instead I made the shirt the namesake of this post.

The three of us were scoping out prospective dates for me.

Catherine would kick me under the table when a cute guy walked by.

If I hadn't already seen them on my own I would take notice. But I

asked her what she expected me to do about it? She said I should

swing my leg out and accidentally on purpose kick them and be like

"Omigosh I'm so sorry!" Haha. There were 3 main candidates. One

was wearing a button down shirt and tie. The other we referred to

as "Ponytail," because he was bald. Just kidding, he had a ponytail!

We were so inventive and clever with their names. Ponytail had been

standing somewhat close by to our table with a few people, two girls

and a guy. He was talking to the guy and they were leaning close

with like heads together. At one point Catherine said "Okay, they

are practically kissing," and she thought they clearly must be gay. I

was more inclined to believe that they were just trying to speak,

because you have to be centimeters from someone else's ear to be

heard, even yelling at the top of your voice, over the music in a place

like that.

At one point, Ponytail left his coterie and went over to the bar.

Catherine told me to walk by him. I refused, because the bar was on

one wall and the stage was on the adjoining wall, so he was

essentially standing in a corner. I had no apparent reason to walk

over there if I wasn't going to order anything, so I would just walk

past him, turn around and walk back, and look like a moron. So

she told me to say hey. I wouldn't. I am not one to approach or

make a first move. You can come to me. I missed an opportunity

to meet the actress Amanda Seyfried because I wouldn't go up to

her. I just gawked, but that's different. I would hardly expect her

to come to me, but a guy ought to.

So we were ready to leave and Adam went out to get the car.

Ponytail went into the bathroom, so Catherine and I hovered

outside the door. We're such creepers! I like to relate to Gone

with the Wind like when I had my Miss Suellen moment, about

my hands after working in the yard. This incident makes me

think of when Scarlett's mother suggest she go to Atlanta and stay

with Aunt Pitty. Scarlett agrees because Ashley will be in Atlanta for Melanie and Mammy says "...an' you sittin' there waitin' for him, jus'

like a spider." Just like a spider, we were waiting for Ponytail to

come out. While we were biding our time, the 'Shirt and Tie Guy'

walked past us into the bathroom. Also we noticed a tall dark guy

at the bar. Catherine said he looked like Adam Lambert. He had

dark hair in a messy style and eye-makeup and was wearing

necklaces. He was almost certainly gay, and most certainly cute.

Tall is a big plus too. I told Catherine that tall is something I look

for, though I don't have a definitive "type," because I don't want a

Nicole Kidman-Tom Cruise situation. Although I do use them as a

positive as a role-couple when I am dating the inevitably shorter guy.

Minus the divorce.

I kept catching his eye, I didn't necessarily want to, but I was staring so he kept glancing over. He too went into the bathroom. Catherine was like, "Okay, what the heck is Ponytail doing in there?" Adam,

after all, was waiting in the car all this time. And we joked that he,

Ponytail, was waiting for me for come in to the bathroom. The

bathroom had no door, and it was uni-sex which put Catherine off

when she had gone in earlier in the night. All the stalls had doors,

obviously and walls to the floor, but she just thought it was

uncomfortable to have guys washing hands next to her, that is

strange. So the bathroom had no door and I looked in and

Ponytail was in the common area talking to two girls. I said that

we ought to go in and touch up our make-up in the mirror. She

thought good idea, so we ventured in. Adam Lambert came to the

sinks just as we did. Catherine was applying lip gloss, but though I

was wearing mascara, and sometimes use lip stain or stick (I didn't

have anything on my lips that night tho) I didn't have my macquillage

with me. I ought to know better. The shot girl in one of the Bourbon

Street bars the night I struck out on the town without a chaperone,

had told me I need to have my face with me to reapply because my

lips needed to be touched up. I will remember for the next time I go

out. No, I probably won't, please remind me! So Catherine was

applying lip gloss, but I had no reason to be in there. I should have

played with my hair in the mirror or something, but I didn't have my

wits about me. I was too distracted by Adam Lambert and how

ludicrous the entire situation was. Catherine kept turning and staring

at the guy, and I could not take it. She was trying to get his attention,

and it wasn't working. Later she said it meant that he had to be

without doubt gay.

Which brings me back to earlier in the evening when Adam and I

had gone up to the bar for a drink. Upon our return to the table,

Adam was telling Catherine about the bartender's exhibitionist

top. Everything was apparently pushed up and out and uncovered.

Catherine asked me about it and I responded with, "Why, what

about it? What did she have on?" They laughed and Catherine

exclaimed delightedly, "Oh, you're sooo gay!" Haha.

Which brings us to yet another tangent before we return to the

bathroom. Sorry, try your very best to follow trains of thought,

running rampant across the rainbow landscape, no tracks. I had

said up there in an earlier paragraph how the three of us were

scoping out boys for me. Adam too! At one point Catherine had

directed my attention to a guy and Adam asked where? or who? So

she pointed the guy out to him. He said something like "Oh yeah,

he's cute," raising Catherine's eyebrows, and he said, "for Travis,

you know." I love these two, they are the BEST!!!

Okay, so Catherine and I are in the bathroom at the mirrors, she is

touching up make-up and I am standing there like a fool. She keeps

staring at the Adam Lambert-esque guy, very obviously, like stopping

with the lip gloss and turning her entire body to face him. I could not

take it! I was all giggles and it was just the funniest thing! You

cannot imagine how awkward and silly. He was ignoring her or

genuinely didn't notice and finally I nudged her and went out. She

said that Ponytail was not cute at all up close, I didn't take notice, I

was too worried about how I was being perceived. When we finally

came out and got into the car Adam was like what the heck were you

guys doing all that time?!

Saturday, Danielle, Darren, Olivia, and Jacob went to see A

Christmas Carol. I opted out, in favor of hanging out with Karen from

nextdoor. I went over and she said that she was planning to go

Christmas shopping and shopping for an outfit to wear for her office

Christmas party, and asked if I would like to go. I am all for

shopping! We went all over the place, and got her some cute new

clothes and Christmas gifts. We didn't come up with an entire outfit,

but we got good pieces to build from. We had Greek for dinner and

went to Aladdin. It was very good. We got hummus and pita bread

for an appetizer, she had lamb and I ordered fried kibby, and we

shared our entrees. We had such a good date! We got back to the

house and the door to inside from the garage was locked! She didn't

think she had a house key but luckily she found it in her purse. We

unloaded our present finds and she showed me the stuff that she had

already had. I had a tour of her Christmas tree and we watched TV.

We watched a musical number from White Christmas, the one where

Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye do the "Sisters" song with the feather

fans. Then we switched to something else, I can't remember what,

for a minute, and then the Will Ferrell-Nicole Kidman Bewitched.

Today I did some more Christmas shopping and gift wrapping. I

have one more gift to buy and I will be finished. By tomorrow night

I will be done! Go me!

I don't know if any of you are familiar with the book, The Elf on

the Shelf? To supplement, or compliment, I'm not sure which

word you would use, the story, there is a little Christmas elf that

comes with the book. He watches the kiddies and when they go to

bed at night flies to the North Pole and reports directly to Santa

about their behavior. One of the things the kids have to do is give

the elf a name, and the other thing is that they aren't allowed to

touch him or his magic won't work. He's not allowed to talk to them

(but Danielle has the kids talk to him. She told them to apologize to

him one night when they were particularly bad and promise that they

would be better. Haha.) Darren basically named him. He influenced

the kids to choose the name Frank. The book gives ideas like

"Sparkle" but Darren threw Frank out there and the kids were

insistent and "Frank" stuck, to Danielle's chagrin.

So one night I told Danielle to move Frank. According to the book,

he flies to the North Pole and when he comes back he hides in a

different spot, (or sometimes the same spot if he especially likes it.)

That part about the same spot isn't in the book, but sometimes here

he gets attached to a favorite hang out. He had loved one hang out

in particular for a few days, so I told Danielle to move him. She told

me to do it, so I sat him on top of one of the candle sconces hanging

on the dining room wall. The next night I moved him again. I

wanted to sit him on top of the mirror in the living room, but it was

too shallow for him to be able to sit, his head was too heavy and he

kept falling. So I laid him on his side. When I had him on the sconce,

I put his arms around his knees, and he was sitting like that. I left

him in the same position when I had him laying on the mirror and

Danielle said he looked like he was curled up in the fetal position.

So I curled up like that and rocked back and forth and said, "Oh

these kids are SOOOOO bad!" And we all laughed.

xoxo, Travvy

tired

sorry to disappoint but i have to go to bed, i'll fill you in tomorrow

xoxo,Travvy

Worm Investigators

Sleeping Beauty

I am almost done Christmas shopping, only like 2 things I have to pick up. One I know what it is, the other I don't. I'll probably wrap the kids presents tomorrow while they are napping. I was going to sew gift bags, but I didn't bother to measure and I don't think they are going to be big enough. I will probably just wrap them in paper. I think the kids would have more fun tearing wrapping paper than opening a bag. Also I am lazy and don't feel like making bags...

I guess haven't had much to say about the kids lately. I am the star, but I do need a supporting cast after all. The other day when I was taking Jacob to school, while I was buckling him in he was hissing. He said he was a snake. So I hissed and said I was too. He said that I was a mommy snake and he was a baby snake. I was like, "I'm a mommy snake?" And he said "Noooo. You're a Travis snake, and I'm a Jacob snake." On the way home from school today Olivia fell asleep and I took a picture with my phone because the way she was positioned reminded me of Great Grammy. Haha. Danielle and my Great Grammy, Olivia and Jacob's Great Grammy is Grammy to us haha. I wish I had a picture to show how she slept like that too sometimes. There may or may not be a picture somewhere, but even if there is it isn't readily available to me. Even if you didn't know Great Gram it's still a funny super cute picture. I am glad I found out I can text pictures from my phone to my email so I can put it on my blog! I wish I would have known that you could do that before I got a new phone and I would have sent off all my pictures so I'd have them. I still have them on my old phone and can look at them on there, but it is deactivated so there is no way to get them off. Or is there? If someone is a genius and knows how/if it's possible tell me! Haha. I also put pictures of the kids inspecting a worm on the driveway. That was weeks and weeks ago, I don't know if I shared that story or not. The pictures are cute. I'll actually put those in a separate post, which will appear above this one so you'll see them before you read this but what can ya do? Speaking of all these pictures, how fab is my new banner thing at the top? I wish I would have figured out how to change it sooner, I plan to change it with the seasons. Missed Halloween, too bad.

OH! I almost forgot! Well I did forget, I had already posted this but I'm fairly certain that no one has read the blog between the original time I posted it like a half hour ago and now, its the middle of the night. Olivia lost her first tooth! I can't leave spare change lying around anymore, the Tooth Fairy took it off the dining room table to give her haha. She has a little gap in her bottom teeth. After she went to bed she opened the door and called for Danielle, and she said, "Mommy, I have a hole." She lost it before bed time and Danielle already knew but she wanted to remind everyone and/or just stall going to sleep.

xoxo, Travvy

3

I have three people done for Christmas, two of them wrapped and all! I find it very interesting that Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato, the directors of the movie Party Monster, are executive producers of the show Million Dollar Listing. I noticed that today while I was watching the show during the kids' naps. Nothing spectacular went on today. Jacob and I ran errands while Olivia was at school. We went to Wal*Mart and I found my presents for the kids, but since Jacob was there I planned to go back this evening. It turned out Danielle told someone else to get the same thing, so I have to go back to the drawing board. Bleh.

xoxo, Travvy

Scarlett is Hateful!

"Look at my hands! Mother said you could always tell a lady by her hands." Black Friday Darren, Uncle Danny and I tore up the yard. I was working like a field-hand like Miss Suellen. Dani-Scarlett was in the house napping, so we didn't get any pictures of me using the chain-saw. Contrary to my dramatic Gone with the Wind moment, I was actually quite butch. I was surprised at how much helping I actually did, I'm not one for the manual labor... Darren said that I had to get a picture using the chain-saw for my blog and temporarily re-title it: Manly Tranny. At one point I looked down and my left leg and shoe were covered in saw dust. I shouted "Oh Nooo!" Everybody looked around and was like "What?!" and I said I was full of saw dust. Michelle asked "Oh no, what are you going to do, Butch?" Haha. We were clearing out the backyard of downed trees from Hurricane Katrina, and probably thousands of little saplings that were taking over. They weren't little, they were taller than I am, but they weren't tree-ish. There was a big pine tree that was dead and leaning perilously toward the house. Uncle Danny cut it down. I climbed up into the new tree house he recently built for Olivia and Jacob and watched from there. He was aiming it to land in a space between the house and a bunch of bushes. He got it right where it was supposed to go! The neighbor that lives behind Uncle Danny and Aunt Betty came to help. He has a bulldozer/back-hoe thing that he dug the stump out with and took the pieces of trunk from that tree and the other downed trees up to the street to be taken away by the city. That was a big help, we got a lot more done!

Darren made Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday and it was very good. We watched this show called the Middle, with Patricia Heaton, and it was so funny. The daughter was so excited that she had a first boyfriend, and she brought him to meet her parents. He was painfully obviously, to everyone but the girlfriend, gay. Michelle and I went for an adventure when it got dark. I had gone up into the tree house with Uncle Danny, Darren, Olivia and Jacob, and Michelle came out just as everyone was coming down. I stayed up and she came up, and we decided to take the flashlight and go explore the wilderness of trees and weeds and whatever else was growing out of control out back. No twisted ankles or serial killers, my two worries about our trek. I thought it very Blair Witch-y, even though it wasn't woods it was just the backyard, and I have never even seen that movie, haha. We found our way to the center of the forest, where we found the trellis of grape vines that was what we decided to go into the jungle to look for. We found our way back out to civilization several hours later. Then we went to the front yard to climb the trees. I don't remember what kind of tree the first one was. It was relatively small, big enough to climb, but not very far. The other one was a big oak tree, and that we technically could have climbed pretty high, but we couldn't get much farther than we did in the first one.

At midnight Thursday into Black Friday, the outlets opened. Danielle and I were waiting outside J. Crew at ten thirty. Well I was a little late because I ran to the bathroom. While I wasn't there, an employee came out and said to Danielle, "Uh--You know we don't open 'til midnight, right?" There were other stores where people were lined up for a mile. But Danielle and I were the first at J. Crew. Eventually other people started falling in behind us. Danielle was recognized for her diehard-ness. When we got to the checkout the cashier was like, "Oh you were the one waiting all that time!" Danielle had been window shopping the entire wait, eyeing what she wanted. She made a b-line for a peacoat and she got the only small, all the others they had were only extra smalls, no other sizes. On our way to the back wall where the coat was, she ordered me to stop and find a t-shirt in her size. I was her B during our J. Crew experience. I held all her merchandise and her bag. She was so grateful that she insisted on buying this necklace that I think is super cute but she absolutely hates, so that when she wears it I'll know she loves me, in case its not always apparent. Its a nice gesture but I tried to prevent her from getting it. We made a scene in line. She bought me a pair of gray and purple argyle socks. I heart argyle haha.

Wednesday, Danielle, Aunt Betty and I went to Wal*Mart to pick up some stuff and to Boomtown Casino to pick up a pecan pie and a chocolate cake. Aunt Betty said that I should sign up for a players card at Boomtown because I could win $1,000 free slot play. But we had ice cream melting in the car, so we went home. But Aunt Betty, Uncle Danny and I came back later that evening. I signed up for a card, and I won $5 free slot play. Not exactly $1,000, but hey. We played video poker and I won 10 bucks! I didn't put any of my own money in. I really one 15, but I played 5 back in. Aunt Betty and Uncle Danny were helping me, because it was Jacks or Higher, I know how to play Texas Hold'Em sort of, but not this. This one I kind of understood, but it was good I had coaches.

On the way back from Uncle Danny and Aunt Betty's on Saturday we stopped at USM. The bookstore was closed, but we drove around the campus and saw the basketball stadium and the Fraternity Row.

Today, I went to McDonald's for an iced coffee. When I walked in this guy was sweeping the floor and he said what's up or something so I said hi. I ordered my coffee, and the lady handed it to me and I went to leave. The floor sweeper went to hold the door open for me, that was nice. Or so I thought. He followed me out and asked "Where are the women at you date?" I'm not sure I responded, I was probably like "What?" So he asked again and then was like, "Or you don't date women? You like men." I was like yeah...whatever, all the time going towards my car and preparing to scratch eyes out in self-defense. Then he was telling me I should come back around two thirty, I assume when his shift was over. Um, no!? He proceeded to proposition me to go back behind the dumpster now then, and he'll show me what he's got. Now I wanted to scratch his eyes out not in self-defense but rage. I sped out of there. It ruined my entire day! Until an hour later. I had gone from McDonald's to the mall, and when I saw a grown woman, rather older, sitting on Santa's lap I was slightly cheered up. Then I was walking through Dillard's on my way out and I saw a very cute, probably gay, guy working a cosmetics counter and I was back to my bubbly happy-go-lucky self. But I still don't plan to return to that McDonald's. At least not without my protective angry boyfriend to defend/avenge my honor.

xoxo, Travvy

Happy Thanksgiving!

What what! One Christmas present down, and its already wrapped! Yay! I also got my oil changed today. It was mildly overdue, but now I don't have to worry about the engine blowing up, so that's good. I don't really have anything interesting but those two things. We are going to Uncle Danny and Aunt Betty's tomorrow for Thanksgiving, and we're cleaning up the trees and debris from Hurricane Katrina in the yard. So I shan't blog the rest of the week. I know, I know, it's okay, just cry it out. This is kind of a crappy post to leave you with, but I got nothin' sorry. See you next week! Happy Thanksgiving!

xoxo, Travvy

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

It isn't really that cold, but I bought Jessica Simpson's Christmas album and I am listening to that song over and over. I heart this cd. It was only 5 dollars! I also got Xtina's and I'm not a fan. Oh well.

The kids have off from school all week, but Darren took vacation so that offsets it. I took the kids for a walk this afternoon, Sorry Amanda I didn't think to call :( Darren and I took the kids to Liberty Park. I hadn't been there before, but its nice and I like it. It's like a playground that used to be by my Aunt Margaret's house called Timbertown, wooden and big and cool. They ripped Timbertown down because of splinters or something and replaced it with a tiny fiberglass playground. Boo. The only thing that I didn't like about this one is that the one I usually take the kids to, I can just sit on a bench and see them anywhere they go. This one I'll have to chase them around but that's okay. Exercise... But its closer so that's good, too.

I did some sewing today, not really sewing, but cutting patterns and pieces out to be sewn. Darren made a big intricate train track and I added more to it. I was telling Danielle a while ago how we used to be so interested in building tracks and stuff but we kind of got bored with it. I guess the phase is back for a while.

I'm reading the Vampire Chronicles again. I finished Interview with the Vampire a second time and now I'm reading The Vampire Lestat. I've only read a few novels more than once. Carrie, maybe Cujo I'm not sure. My favorite book ever, Freak Show, by James St. James, I've read I don't know how many times. I made Danielle read it haha. It's about a high school drag queen who moves from fabulous open-minded Connecticut to icky redneck Florida. Haha, kind of like me, but not really at all.

I don't know why I started talking about books, the big story was the Poker Game at Catherine and Adam's on Friday night. It was my first time, Catherine had taught me the Friday before. Danielle and I went. I played, she didn't. She was a spectator/cheerleader/bartender. I guess she served a drink here and there, but she ended up stealng my glass of wine. Party foul! We met fun new people. We played two games, and I won the second one! Catherine helped me out, and Matt did too. At one point I was just calling and he whispered to me, "You have nothing." Oops. Somebody else helped me, but I forgot his name... He told me to go all in because I had a Full House but I didn't know. What really set me up to win was that TJ just wanted to go home, so he was betting on nothing hands just to dump his chips so he could leave. I ended up winning that hand, so I got a lot of chips.

Saturday Catherine, Danielle and I went to Handworks, this craftshow. Molly Gee had a booth so we chatted with her for a little. Adam came over that night for eggnog and we started to watch Excalibur, but everyone was worn out so we didn't watch the whole thing.

I guess that's about it.

xoxo, Travvy

Poker Face

Strangers think its such a novelty that I am from exotic Pennsylvania. And I do mean strange. The other day Jacob and I went to Target to buy cat food for Asche, and I was writing a check so I had to show my ID. Luckily no one has given me a hassle that the addresses don't match, my license has my PA address and my checks have Danielle and Darren's. But I get "oooh Pennsylvania," a lot. This batty old cashier at Target was the most note-worthy to date. She asked me if I brought pictures. Uh, no? I don't think I even have any pictures of Pennsylvania, if I take pictures of scenery or anything its from vacations. And even if I did have pictures, why would I have them on me? She was so bizarre, and very disappointed, she was like no one ever brings pictures. Again, why would they? So then she asked me if I was down here for school and I told her I was babysitting, like it was her business. And she said oh well you can probably put yourself through school doing that, look where I work. What is that supposed to mean? I wasn't like oh I'm a manny, how horrid. The whole encounter, she was probably meant well, I'm sure she's harmless, but I was like, freeeak. This shouldn't come off as mean, if it does I'm not describing it well, it was just so weird for words.

At Unwrapped last night Molly Gee had a table selling her hair accessories, and I met her cousin Lisa. Libby Story had stuff too. I saw Josh Hailey, the photographer I went out with Molly Gee the first time, I said hello but I'm not sure he recognized me. I was wearing my Steve Madden boots, for the first time since last winter probably. I don't usually wear them without crew socks, but I don't have any, all I have are ankle socks. But I wanted to wear them so I did. The zipper of my right boots kept rubbing my leg, and when I took them off I had a red mark, so I guess i have to invest in longer socks. There was a lot going on and I went into this cool consignment shop called Orange Peel I think it was. I've never been to a consignment shop so I don't know, maybe this is how they all work, but I was impressed by the price tags. It had a price, but then it had dates spaced out every week or so, and the longer it was on the shelf the price would go down. I thought that was so interesting. Its kind of a gamble because you could want something and try to wait for the price to come down, but in the mean time somebody else could snatch it up. Some lady got me to sign a petition to make cruelty to dogs and cats a felony in Mississippi. Its one of only 4 states or something like that where its only a misdemeanor. She said she and her husband are pilots from some Base, I'm not sure which one. And she said that they have a rescue dog that was set on fire with an accelerant. That was my good deed for the year. Haha. Another woman had me try a piece of venison jerky. Luckily I was carrying Life Saver peppermints. It wasn't bad but I was glad I had those to get rid of the taste. Venison made me think of at my Grandma's old apartment from the kitchen window we could see into the neighbors yard and he had a deer hanging from the tree. There was also this store there that had funny t-shirts. One had the GAP logo, but it said CRAP. And there were some that said "I heart Mayonnaise," and other weird foods to profess love for on a T-Shirt. For some reason the blog doesn't accept the greater than symbol and number 3 to make a heart shape. It won't allow it to post.

This morning was blunder after blunder. When we pulled into the school, Olivia asked where her school bag was. I forgot it at the house. Usually she is carrying it when we leave, but I also usually either hand it to her or make sure she has it. I had also filled a zip lock bag with Cheerios for a snack for Jacob. This I also forgot. So we went to McDonalds and I got my iced coffee and some cookies for him. They were fresh and so the chocolate was gooey and got everywhere. I also think they put a different flavor in my coffee than the vanilla I ordered. So i took Jacob to the mall. We are mall walkers. He asked for the stroller, which I don't keep in the car but I guess I ought to. Danielle had said something about it a long time ago, but it hasn't come up with the kids until this morning. Jacob and I had gone to the mall earlier in the week, and he'll walk but every so often he begs to be carried. I will usually pick him up for a little bit, but ultimately tell him he's too heavy after a while and he walks again, for a little bit until he wants to be carried again. When we were at the mall the last time, he was whining when I wouldn't carry him, and started saying, "I'm to heavy to walk, can you pick me up?" Whatever floor we park at and enter on, he immediately wants to be on the other floor, and will ask if we can go upstairs, until we get there, then he wants to be downstairs, or vice versa.

There is a kiosk that sells helicopters that you put on this stick and pull the rip cord and the helicopter flies. Last time I specifically made a point to avoid it. This time I walked past and Jacob was commenting on it because the guy was demonstrating. And then he stopped us which I knew would happen. And then he was trying to get me to buy one by selling it to Jacob, which was so shady I thought.

Catherine and Adam are having Poker tonight. I am listening to Lady Gaga's Poker Face. Catherine said when she was teaching me that I didn't have a good one. It makes me think of one time how I had some of the Poker Face lyrics as my Facebook status. "Can't read my, Can't read my, No he can't read my Poker Face." Then I texted who I thought was my friend Lauren something about a boy, but it turned out I had actually texted it to the boy himself by accident. So I changed my status to "Apparently you don't have to read my Poker Face, I will just text my foot in my mouth." Aye yigh yigh.

xoxo, Travvy Gaga

big night

Tonight is Fondren Unwrapped, this event I am going to with Molly Gee. I put a picture of the information post card. Very high tech and resourceful of me, I don't know if Danielle's printer has a scanner or not, I could easily have found out, but not interested. Even if it does I would have to go through the pain of trying to figure out how to work it, so I just took of picture of it with the iSight camera on my computer. Voila!

Tonight is also the finale of Project Runway! Catherine is coming over and we are going to make it a party!

So much fun going on and I have a lot to do. I am doing laundry and waiting for Olivia to get home so she can have lunch and go to bed. Then I can take a shower, and I want to do some more sewing. I turned out a lot of stuff yesterday. I have to be in the mood to do it and I have been the last few days. I am sort of less gung-ho about it today, though, because I am trying to work out a new twist on an old project, and I am not feeling all the trial and error. I was wrestling with it last night and I think I figured out how to "make it work" so we'll see how that turns out. I'll letcha know.

I know I said last night that I had stuff to say, but now I can't really remember what I had in mind. Except this one story from over the weekend, which I wasn't going to bring up but Danielle asked if I shared it, so I suppose I will. I'm not one for potty humor and I don't want every story to be about bathroom stuff, but that's part of the day to day with Mr. Jacob, so I guess I don't have much choice...

So over the weekend I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and Jacob had to go. Darren said to use the master bathroom but that didn't suit and Jacob was whining, so Darren said he could go pee-pee in the backyard. I was done in like 30 seconds, Jacob was just wanting to be dramatic. But he went outside to potty, and then he came in and told Darren he poo-ed in the back yard.

Meanwhile, as I write this, Olivia has unravelled the

paper towels off the roll and dragged the holder off of the counter

onto the floor, breaking one of the feet off of it...

Where were we? Darren went to clean it up, but it seems that Amber had beaten him to it. No other stories of interest come to mind at this point. Probably remember at some point or another, but not while I'm blogging, so that when I do go to blog, I will forget once again.

xoxo, Travvy

Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! I forgot to update yesterday! I was thinking about it yesterday and what I would write about, and then today while the kids were napping I was trying to remember if I blogged last night or not, so I just assumed I did.

I have been in a sewing cave. Last night I finally finished Danielle's bag, and today I was working on more stuff from nap time through now. I have stuff to say, but I have to go to sleep, because tomorrow is Open House at the school and Danielle is going to work early so I have to be up earlier, so you will have to wait. I will try to blog tomorrow during nap time, because tomorrow night is gonna be busy busy.

xoxo, Travvy

P.S. I am so impressed with myself that I can type without looking at the keyboard, I don't have my fingers where they belong according to typing class, I just type with my index fingers, but I am very fast and only look at the screen. I used to take forever to type like papers and stuff in school. Maybe only I am impressed by this but just thought I'd share.

xoxo, Travvy

Monday Monday Monday

The morning was crazy. Danielle forgot her ID badge so the kids and I ran it over before school. Darren doesn't have car-seats in his car, so on the weekends we usually take Olivia's booster out of my car. I didn't have it this morning and I asked Darren if he still had it or if Danielle did. I don't know why I thought she would because she wouldn't really need it she has one for her car. But he said he didn't have it that she must. So I drove to Danielle's work with Olivia just sitting in the normal backseat without her booster. I asked Danielle and here the booster was in the garage. So we had to run back home again. She doesn't work far away but I was worried about being late for school. We got there in time though. Then when I came back to the house, Darren was getting ready to leave for work, but he couldn't find his keys. I was on the phone with Danielle and he asked me to ask her if she knew where they were. She did. In her car. So back again to pick up keys. Sheesh.

When I picked the kids up, I was getting Jacob buckled and suddenly the rear car door on the opposite side opened. Olivia slipped up. She "can't" open my car door herself, Danielle told me it was a game but Olivia always made a good show of throwing all her (nothing) weight back while hanging on the handle, and it still wouldn't open. So I think this time she forgot herself and accidentally opened it. So now she has to open it herself. She was trying to play helpless again after that but I reminded her how she opened it at school and she did it again. So it will be interesting to see in the morning how the scenario will go, if she'll just get in or still try to play games. It's like how Jacob can't put his own pants or socks on, yet one day last week he emerged from Danielle's bedroom wearing her stockings, and after naps he is almost always wearing a different pair of pants than he went to bed in. Amazing. Usually a swimming suit.

I took the kids to the bank today. Going through the Drive Thru crossed my mind but I've never done it before so I opted to go in. They were running around all wound up. I looked up from my deposit slip and Jacob was running around with a sofa cushion. Not a cushion, it was a pillow but a weird pillow, it was long and cylindrical and sat between the seat cushion and the back cushion, I don't know how to explain it. Ugly sofa. When I went to the window I told them to sit in two chairs that were next to it and Jacob charged into it and slammed it into the wall. Nobody let on that they thought anything of the kids behavior but I think I'll try the Drive Thru next time. I had gone in with just Jacob once before and he had been good, he was wild today though. Olivia was too an extent, just because he was, but she listens better when you say stop.

I made the second strap of Danielle's bag tonight, now its just a matter of putting the bag together. Not hard, just a matter of sitting down and doing it... Danielle and I watched a vampire show and Celebrity Ghost Stories. The featured celebs were Carrie Fisher, John Waters, and Rue McClanahan. Good stuff.

xoxo, Travvy

Traverella

Danielle didn't find that last part of the Dates and Hair Snobs post particularly amusing. This blog should be taken with the proverbial grain of salt (you'll going to need the entire shaker). Or the Tranny Manny version of Mary Poppins' spoon full of sugar: just a spoon full of salt helps the Blog go down!

The art show with Molly Gee was very fun, and I met new and interesting friends. I had a Cinderella-esque evening. I got home at exactly midnight, wearing one shoe. My car(riage) turned into a lemon.

Actually the car turned into a lemon before the night began, because when I went to leave it wouldn't start. I'll go into detail later, suffice it to say, what a fiasco! I slipped one of my shoes of in the car before I came into the house, just because it was midnight precisely as I pulled in and I thought, "How quaint." I didn't meet Prince Charming either, but everyone I did was charming for sure. Traverella is really nothing like Cinderella at all. Oh well, I already blogged today, this is just fluff anyway, and I'll share the actual events of the night another time.

xoxo, Travvy

Dates and Hair Snobs

I may have mislead you, which wasn't my intention, Okay, yes it was. I did have a date, but it wasn't a date like I suggested it was. Not that I suggested anything, it was open-ended and I left you to draw your own conclusions. My date was with Catherine, she invited me over for coffee and an opportunity to meet her friend Molly Gee. We had a lot of fun. I learned to play poker and Wii Tennis and Bowling. Catherine killed me in the tennis match, and the bowling was very close but she still won. I beat her at Texas Hold 'Em though! I don't know how I managed that one, haha. I told her that it made my dating top 5. Then Catherine and Adam came over to Danielle & Darren's. Darren made gumbo, Adam made margaritas, and we watched The Big Lebowski. I also gave a floor show exhibiting my best dance moves.

Tonight I am going to an Art Show with Molly Gee. It starts in an hour and a half, and I have yet to decide what I am going to wear. I have an array of outfits to choose from, naturally, but its a matter of narrowing it down and ultimately selecting the perfect one. I wish it was next weekend tho, because Olivia had a haircut today and I scheduled an appointment for Wednesday. I wouldn't have given my hair a second thought if I didn't know it will be looking better in a few days. I told Danielle that I need to fly my stylist/colorist extraordinaire Kate down, but even if I were doing that instead of going to someone down here, she wouldn't have made it here for tonight anyway. My private jet is in the shop. I have to give this new stylist a hard time, because she and Danielle were down on my last cut, a Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby moment. Kate and I were very impressed with it. (And not just us, thank you.) Ms. Farrow's was blonde and we had dyed mine from blonde to dark dark brown before we decided that that was the look we were going for. It came out very chic and "French looking." Apparently it doesn't read in "the dirty South" as Kate lovingly refers to it. This has been Travis, signing off from the High Fashion Hair Mecca that is Mississippi.

xoxo, Travvy