Scarlett is Hateful!

"Look at my hands! Mother said you could always tell a lady by her hands." Black Friday Darren, Uncle Danny and I tore up the yard. I was working like a field-hand like Miss Suellen. Dani-Scarlett was in the house napping, so we didn't get any pictures of me using the chain-saw. Contrary to my dramatic Gone with the Wind moment, I was actually quite butch. I was surprised at how much helping I actually did, I'm not one for the manual labor... Darren said that I had to get a picture using the chain-saw for my blog and temporarily re-title it: Manly Tranny. At one point I looked down and my left leg and shoe were covered in saw dust. I shouted "Oh Nooo!" Everybody looked around and was like "What?!" and I said I was full of saw dust. Michelle asked "Oh no, what are you going to do, Butch?" Haha. We were clearing out the backyard of downed trees from Hurricane Katrina, and probably thousands of little saplings that were taking over. They weren't little, they were taller than I am, but they weren't tree-ish. There was a big pine tree that was dead and leaning perilously toward the house. Uncle Danny cut it down. I climbed up into the new tree house he recently built for Olivia and Jacob and watched from there. He was aiming it to land in a space between the house and a bunch of bushes. He got it right where it was supposed to go! The neighbor that lives behind Uncle Danny and Aunt Betty came to help. He has a bulldozer/back-hoe thing that he dug the stump out with and took the pieces of trunk from that tree and the other downed trees up to the street to be taken away by the city. That was a big help, we got a lot more done!

Darren made Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday and it was very good. We watched this show called the Middle, with Patricia Heaton, and it was so funny. The daughter was so excited that she had a first boyfriend, and she brought him to meet her parents. He was painfully obviously, to everyone but the girlfriend, gay. Michelle and I went for an adventure when it got dark. I had gone up into the tree house with Uncle Danny, Darren, Olivia and Jacob, and Michelle came out just as everyone was coming down. I stayed up and she came up, and we decided to take the flashlight and go explore the wilderness of trees and weeds and whatever else was growing out of control out back. No twisted ankles or serial killers, my two worries about our trek. I thought it very Blair Witch-y, even though it wasn't woods it was just the backyard, and I have never even seen that movie, haha. We found our way to the center of the forest, where we found the trellis of grape vines that was what we decided to go into the jungle to look for. We found our way back out to civilization several hours later. Then we went to the front yard to climb the trees. I don't remember what kind of tree the first one was. It was relatively small, big enough to climb, but not very far. The other one was a big oak tree, and that we technically could have climbed pretty high, but we couldn't get much farther than we did in the first one.

At midnight Thursday into Black Friday, the outlets opened. Danielle and I were waiting outside J. Crew at ten thirty. Well I was a little late because I ran to the bathroom. While I wasn't there, an employee came out and said to Danielle, "Uh--You know we don't open 'til midnight, right?" There were other stores where people were lined up for a mile. But Danielle and I were the first at J. Crew. Eventually other people started falling in behind us. Danielle was recognized for her diehard-ness. When we got to the checkout the cashier was like, "Oh you were the one waiting all that time!" Danielle had been window shopping the entire wait, eyeing what she wanted. She made a b-line for a peacoat and she got the only small, all the others they had were only extra smalls, no other sizes. On our way to the back wall where the coat was, she ordered me to stop and find a t-shirt in her size. I was her B during our J. Crew experience. I held all her merchandise and her bag. She was so grateful that she insisted on buying this necklace that I think is super cute but she absolutely hates, so that when she wears it I'll know she loves me, in case its not always apparent. Its a nice gesture but I tried to prevent her from getting it. We made a scene in line. She bought me a pair of gray and purple argyle socks. I heart argyle haha.

Wednesday, Danielle, Aunt Betty and I went to Wal*Mart to pick up some stuff and to Boomtown Casino to pick up a pecan pie and a chocolate cake. Aunt Betty said that I should sign up for a players card at Boomtown because I could win $1,000 free slot play. But we had ice cream melting in the car, so we went home. But Aunt Betty, Uncle Danny and I came back later that evening. I signed up for a card, and I won $5 free slot play. Not exactly $1,000, but hey. We played video poker and I won 10 bucks! I didn't put any of my own money in. I really one 15, but I played 5 back in. Aunt Betty and Uncle Danny were helping me, because it was Jacks or Higher, I know how to play Texas Hold'Em sort of, but not this. This one I kind of understood, but it was good I had coaches.

On the way back from Uncle Danny and Aunt Betty's on Saturday we stopped at USM. The bookstore was closed, but we drove around the campus and saw the basketball stadium and the Fraternity Row.

Today, I went to McDonald's for an iced coffee. When I walked in this guy was sweeping the floor and he said what's up or something so I said hi. I ordered my coffee, and the lady handed it to me and I went to leave. The floor sweeper went to hold the door open for me, that was nice. Or so I thought. He followed me out and asked "Where are the women at you date?" I'm not sure I responded, I was probably like "What?" So he asked again and then was like, "Or you don't date women? You like men." I was like yeah...whatever, all the time going towards my car and preparing to scratch eyes out in self-defense. Then he was telling me I should come back around two thirty, I assume when his shift was over. Um, no!? He proceeded to proposition me to go back behind the dumpster now then, and he'll show me what he's got. Now I wanted to scratch his eyes out not in self-defense but rage. I sped out of there. It ruined my entire day! Until an hour later. I had gone from McDonald's to the mall, and when I saw a grown woman, rather older, sitting on Santa's lap I was slightly cheered up. Then I was walking through Dillard's on my way out and I saw a very cute, probably gay, guy working a cosmetics counter and I was back to my bubbly happy-go-lucky self. But I still don't plan to return to that McDonald's. At least not without my protective angry boyfriend to defend/avenge my honor.

xoxo, Travvy

Happy Thanksgiving!

What what! One Christmas present down, and its already wrapped! Yay! I also got my oil changed today. It was mildly overdue, but now I don't have to worry about the engine blowing up, so that's good. I don't really have anything interesting but those two things. We are going to Uncle Danny and Aunt Betty's tomorrow for Thanksgiving, and we're cleaning up the trees and debris from Hurricane Katrina in the yard. So I shan't blog the rest of the week. I know, I know, it's okay, just cry it out. This is kind of a crappy post to leave you with, but I got nothin' sorry. See you next week! Happy Thanksgiving!

xoxo, Travvy

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

It isn't really that cold, but I bought Jessica Simpson's Christmas album and I am listening to that song over and over. I heart this cd. It was only 5 dollars! I also got Xtina's and I'm not a fan. Oh well.

The kids have off from school all week, but Darren took vacation so that offsets it. I took the kids for a walk this afternoon, Sorry Amanda I didn't think to call :( Darren and I took the kids to Liberty Park. I hadn't been there before, but its nice and I like it. It's like a playground that used to be by my Aunt Margaret's house called Timbertown, wooden and big and cool. They ripped Timbertown down because of splinters or something and replaced it with a tiny fiberglass playground. Boo. The only thing that I didn't like about this one is that the one I usually take the kids to, I can just sit on a bench and see them anywhere they go. This one I'll have to chase them around but that's okay. Exercise... But its closer so that's good, too.

I did some sewing today, not really sewing, but cutting patterns and pieces out to be sewn. Darren made a big intricate train track and I added more to it. I was telling Danielle a while ago how we used to be so interested in building tracks and stuff but we kind of got bored with it. I guess the phase is back for a while.

I'm reading the Vampire Chronicles again. I finished Interview with the Vampire a second time and now I'm reading The Vampire Lestat. I've only read a few novels more than once. Carrie, maybe Cujo I'm not sure. My favorite book ever, Freak Show, by James St. James, I've read I don't know how many times. I made Danielle read it haha. It's about a high school drag queen who moves from fabulous open-minded Connecticut to icky redneck Florida. Haha, kind of like me, but not really at all.

I don't know why I started talking about books, the big story was the Poker Game at Catherine and Adam's on Friday night. It was my first time, Catherine had taught me the Friday before. Danielle and I went. I played, she didn't. She was a spectator/cheerleader/bartender. I guess she served a drink here and there, but she ended up stealng my glass of wine. Party foul! We met fun new people. We played two games, and I won the second one! Catherine helped me out, and Matt did too. At one point I was just calling and he whispered to me, "You have nothing." Oops. Somebody else helped me, but I forgot his name... He told me to go all in because I had a Full House but I didn't know. What really set me up to win was that TJ just wanted to go home, so he was betting on nothing hands just to dump his chips so he could leave. I ended up winning that hand, so I got a lot of chips.

Saturday Catherine, Danielle and I went to Handworks, this craftshow. Molly Gee had a booth so we chatted with her for a little. Adam came over that night for eggnog and we started to watch Excalibur, but everyone was worn out so we didn't watch the whole thing.

I guess that's about it.

xoxo, Travvy

Poker Face

Strangers think its such a novelty that I am from exotic Pennsylvania. And I do mean strange. The other day Jacob and I went to Target to buy cat food for Asche, and I was writing a check so I had to show my ID. Luckily no one has given me a hassle that the addresses don't match, my license has my PA address and my checks have Danielle and Darren's. But I get "oooh Pennsylvania," a lot. This batty old cashier at Target was the most note-worthy to date. She asked me if I brought pictures. Uh, no? I don't think I even have any pictures of Pennsylvania, if I take pictures of scenery or anything its from vacations. And even if I did have pictures, why would I have them on me? She was so bizarre, and very disappointed, she was like no one ever brings pictures. Again, why would they? So then she asked me if I was down here for school and I told her I was babysitting, like it was her business. And she said oh well you can probably put yourself through school doing that, look where I work. What is that supposed to mean? I wasn't like oh I'm a manny, how horrid. The whole encounter, she was probably meant well, I'm sure she's harmless, but I was like, freeeak. This shouldn't come off as mean, if it does I'm not describing it well, it was just so weird for words.

At Unwrapped last night Molly Gee had a table selling her hair accessories, and I met her cousin Lisa. Libby Story had stuff too. I saw Josh Hailey, the photographer I went out with Molly Gee the first time, I said hello but I'm not sure he recognized me. I was wearing my Steve Madden boots, for the first time since last winter probably. I don't usually wear them without crew socks, but I don't have any, all I have are ankle socks. But I wanted to wear them so I did. The zipper of my right boots kept rubbing my leg, and when I took them off I had a red mark, so I guess i have to invest in longer socks. There was a lot going on and I went into this cool consignment shop called Orange Peel I think it was. I've never been to a consignment shop so I don't know, maybe this is how they all work, but I was impressed by the price tags. It had a price, but then it had dates spaced out every week or so, and the longer it was on the shelf the price would go down. I thought that was so interesting. Its kind of a gamble because you could want something and try to wait for the price to come down, but in the mean time somebody else could snatch it up. Some lady got me to sign a petition to make cruelty to dogs and cats a felony in Mississippi. Its one of only 4 states or something like that where its only a misdemeanor. She said she and her husband are pilots from some Base, I'm not sure which one. And she said that they have a rescue dog that was set on fire with an accelerant. That was my good deed for the year. Haha. Another woman had me try a piece of venison jerky. Luckily I was carrying Life Saver peppermints. It wasn't bad but I was glad I had those to get rid of the taste. Venison made me think of at my Grandma's old apartment from the kitchen window we could see into the neighbors yard and he had a deer hanging from the tree. There was also this store there that had funny t-shirts. One had the GAP logo, but it said CRAP. And there were some that said "I heart Mayonnaise," and other weird foods to profess love for on a T-Shirt. For some reason the blog doesn't accept the greater than symbol and number 3 to make a heart shape. It won't allow it to post.

This morning was blunder after blunder. When we pulled into the school, Olivia asked where her school bag was. I forgot it at the house. Usually she is carrying it when we leave, but I also usually either hand it to her or make sure she has it. I had also filled a zip lock bag with Cheerios for a snack for Jacob. This I also forgot. So we went to McDonalds and I got my iced coffee and some cookies for him. They were fresh and so the chocolate was gooey and got everywhere. I also think they put a different flavor in my coffee than the vanilla I ordered. So i took Jacob to the mall. We are mall walkers. He asked for the stroller, which I don't keep in the car but I guess I ought to. Danielle had said something about it a long time ago, but it hasn't come up with the kids until this morning. Jacob and I had gone to the mall earlier in the week, and he'll walk but every so often he begs to be carried. I will usually pick him up for a little bit, but ultimately tell him he's too heavy after a while and he walks again, for a little bit until he wants to be carried again. When we were at the mall the last time, he was whining when I wouldn't carry him, and started saying, "I'm to heavy to walk, can you pick me up?" Whatever floor we park at and enter on, he immediately wants to be on the other floor, and will ask if we can go upstairs, until we get there, then he wants to be downstairs, or vice versa.

There is a kiosk that sells helicopters that you put on this stick and pull the rip cord and the helicopter flies. Last time I specifically made a point to avoid it. This time I walked past and Jacob was commenting on it because the guy was demonstrating. And then he stopped us which I knew would happen. And then he was trying to get me to buy one by selling it to Jacob, which was so shady I thought.

Catherine and Adam are having Poker tonight. I am listening to Lady Gaga's Poker Face. Catherine said when she was teaching me that I didn't have a good one. It makes me think of one time how I had some of the Poker Face lyrics as my Facebook status. "Can't read my, Can't read my, No he can't read my Poker Face." Then I texted who I thought was my friend Lauren something about a boy, but it turned out I had actually texted it to the boy himself by accident. So I changed my status to "Apparently you don't have to read my Poker Face, I will just text my foot in my mouth." Aye yigh yigh.

xoxo, Travvy Gaga

big night

Tonight is Fondren Unwrapped, this event I am going to with Molly Gee. I put a picture of the information post card. Very high tech and resourceful of me, I don't know if Danielle's printer has a scanner or not, I could easily have found out, but not interested. Even if it does I would have to go through the pain of trying to figure out how to work it, so I just took of picture of it with the iSight camera on my computer. Voila!

Tonight is also the finale of Project Runway! Catherine is coming over and we are going to make it a party!

So much fun going on and I have a lot to do. I am doing laundry and waiting for Olivia to get home so she can have lunch and go to bed. Then I can take a shower, and I want to do some more sewing. I turned out a lot of stuff yesterday. I have to be in the mood to do it and I have been the last few days. I am sort of less gung-ho about it today, though, because I am trying to work out a new twist on an old project, and I am not feeling all the trial and error. I was wrestling with it last night and I think I figured out how to "make it work" so we'll see how that turns out. I'll letcha know.

I know I said last night that I had stuff to say, but now I can't really remember what I had in mind. Except this one story from over the weekend, which I wasn't going to bring up but Danielle asked if I shared it, so I suppose I will. I'm not one for potty humor and I don't want every story to be about bathroom stuff, but that's part of the day to day with Mr. Jacob, so I guess I don't have much choice...

So over the weekend I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and Jacob had to go. Darren said to use the master bathroom but that didn't suit and Jacob was whining, so Darren said he could go pee-pee in the backyard. I was done in like 30 seconds, Jacob was just wanting to be dramatic. But he went outside to potty, and then he came in and told Darren he poo-ed in the back yard.

Meanwhile, as I write this, Olivia has unravelled the

paper towels off the roll and dragged the holder off of the counter

onto the floor, breaking one of the feet off of it...

Where were we? Darren went to clean it up, but it seems that Amber had beaten him to it. No other stories of interest come to mind at this point. Probably remember at some point or another, but not while I'm blogging, so that when I do go to blog, I will forget once again.

xoxo, Travvy

Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! I forgot to update yesterday! I was thinking about it yesterday and what I would write about, and then today while the kids were napping I was trying to remember if I blogged last night or not, so I just assumed I did.

I have been in a sewing cave. Last night I finally finished Danielle's bag, and today I was working on more stuff from nap time through now. I have stuff to say, but I have to go to sleep, because tomorrow is Open House at the school and Danielle is going to work early so I have to be up earlier, so you will have to wait. I will try to blog tomorrow during nap time, because tomorrow night is gonna be busy busy.

xoxo, Travvy

P.S. I am so impressed with myself that I can type without looking at the keyboard, I don't have my fingers where they belong according to typing class, I just type with my index fingers, but I am very fast and only look at the screen. I used to take forever to type like papers and stuff in school. Maybe only I am impressed by this but just thought I'd share.

xoxo, Travvy

Monday Monday Monday

The morning was crazy. Danielle forgot her ID badge so the kids and I ran it over before school. Darren doesn't have car-seats in his car, so on the weekends we usually take Olivia's booster out of my car. I didn't have it this morning and I asked Darren if he still had it or if Danielle did. I don't know why I thought she would because she wouldn't really need it she has one for her car. But he said he didn't have it that she must. So I drove to Danielle's work with Olivia just sitting in the normal backseat without her booster. I asked Danielle and here the booster was in the garage. So we had to run back home again. She doesn't work far away but I was worried about being late for school. We got there in time though. Then when I came back to the house, Darren was getting ready to leave for work, but he couldn't find his keys. I was on the phone with Danielle and he asked me to ask her if she knew where they were. She did. In her car. So back again to pick up keys. Sheesh.

When I picked the kids up, I was getting Jacob buckled and suddenly the rear car door on the opposite side opened. Olivia slipped up. She "can't" open my car door herself, Danielle told me it was a game but Olivia always made a good show of throwing all her (nothing) weight back while hanging on the handle, and it still wouldn't open. So I think this time she forgot herself and accidentally opened it. So now she has to open it herself. She was trying to play helpless again after that but I reminded her how she opened it at school and she did it again. So it will be interesting to see in the morning how the scenario will go, if she'll just get in or still try to play games. It's like how Jacob can't put his own pants or socks on, yet one day last week he emerged from Danielle's bedroom wearing her stockings, and after naps he is almost always wearing a different pair of pants than he went to bed in. Amazing. Usually a swimming suit.

I took the kids to the bank today. Going through the Drive Thru crossed my mind but I've never done it before so I opted to go in. They were running around all wound up. I looked up from my deposit slip and Jacob was running around with a sofa cushion. Not a cushion, it was a pillow but a weird pillow, it was long and cylindrical and sat between the seat cushion and the back cushion, I don't know how to explain it. Ugly sofa. When I went to the window I told them to sit in two chairs that were next to it and Jacob charged into it and slammed it into the wall. Nobody let on that they thought anything of the kids behavior but I think I'll try the Drive Thru next time. I had gone in with just Jacob once before and he had been good, he was wild today though. Olivia was too an extent, just because he was, but she listens better when you say stop.

I made the second strap of Danielle's bag tonight, now its just a matter of putting the bag together. Not hard, just a matter of sitting down and doing it... Danielle and I watched a vampire show and Celebrity Ghost Stories. The featured celebs were Carrie Fisher, John Waters, and Rue McClanahan. Good stuff.

xoxo, Travvy

Traverella

Danielle didn't find that last part of the Dates and Hair Snobs post particularly amusing. This blog should be taken with the proverbial grain of salt (you'll going to need the entire shaker). Or the Tranny Manny version of Mary Poppins' spoon full of sugar: just a spoon full of salt helps the Blog go down!

The art show with Molly Gee was very fun, and I met new and interesting friends. I had a Cinderella-esque evening. I got home at exactly midnight, wearing one shoe. My car(riage) turned into a lemon.

Actually the car turned into a lemon before the night began, because when I went to leave it wouldn't start. I'll go into detail later, suffice it to say, what a fiasco! I slipped one of my shoes of in the car before I came into the house, just because it was midnight precisely as I pulled in and I thought, "How quaint." I didn't meet Prince Charming either, but everyone I did was charming for sure. Traverella is really nothing like Cinderella at all. Oh well, I already blogged today, this is just fluff anyway, and I'll share the actual events of the night another time.

xoxo, Travvy

Dates and Hair Snobs

I may have mislead you, which wasn't my intention, Okay, yes it was. I did have a date, but it wasn't a date like I suggested it was. Not that I suggested anything, it was open-ended and I left you to draw your own conclusions. My date was with Catherine, she invited me over for coffee and an opportunity to meet her friend Molly Gee. We had a lot of fun. I learned to play poker and Wii Tennis and Bowling. Catherine killed me in the tennis match, and the bowling was very close but she still won. I beat her at Texas Hold 'Em though! I don't know how I managed that one, haha. I told her that it made my dating top 5. Then Catherine and Adam came over to Danielle & Darren's. Darren made gumbo, Adam made margaritas, and we watched The Big Lebowski. I also gave a floor show exhibiting my best dance moves.

Tonight I am going to an Art Show with Molly Gee. It starts in an hour and a half, and I have yet to decide what I am going to wear. I have an array of outfits to choose from, naturally, but its a matter of narrowing it down and ultimately selecting the perfect one. I wish it was next weekend tho, because Olivia had a haircut today and I scheduled an appointment for Wednesday. I wouldn't have given my hair a second thought if I didn't know it will be looking better in a few days. I told Danielle that I need to fly my stylist/colorist extraordinaire Kate down, but even if I were doing that instead of going to someone down here, she wouldn't have made it here for tonight anyway. My private jet is in the shop. I have to give this new stylist a hard time, because she and Danielle were down on my last cut, a Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby moment. Kate and I were very impressed with it. (And not just us, thank you.) Ms. Farrow's was blonde and we had dyed mine from blonde to dark dark brown before we decided that that was the look we were going for. It came out very chic and "French looking." Apparently it doesn't read in "the dirty South" as Kate lovingly refers to it. This has been Travis, signing off from the High Fashion Hair Mecca that is Mississippi.

xoxo, Travvy

Today...

...kicked my bum! I have a date tomorrow afternoon, so I need to get my beauty sleep. I fully intend to leave you hanging! So, until tomorrow

xoxo, Travvy

Disappearing Act

Danielle had off today for Veteran's day, so I had the day off too. But tonight she had a Board Meeting for the Neighborhood so I was on duty. Amanda brought Barrett over this afternoon and we were playing outside. Jacob had a box of Wheat Thins. He was sharing with Olivia and Barrett, but he would only give them one cracker at a time. Amber was hovering around Barrett and snatched up his cracker! Danielle went to the meeting and Amanda and Barrett went home, so the kids and I went in and had leftover chili for dinner. We had to run some paperwork someone had dropped off at the house after Danielle already left up to the meeting. When we got back Jacob asked if he could take a bath, so I gave them baths. They got into pjs and we sat on the couch to read Cinderella. Danielle got home, but then went down the street to talk to Jennifer. Olivia asking where Mommy was, and I kept telling her, she went to Ms. Jennifer's she'll be right back. Then she kept opening the front door and looking out, but she was only wearing a pajama top and undies, so I kept telling her to close the door, because besides her being indecent it was a little chilly. I had to use the bathroom so I locked the front door so she would quit opening it, and went into the bathroom. She was at the bathroom door fiddling with the handle and talking to me, both of them always do that, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. I came out a minute later, and the front door was wide open. I went running out and shouting for Olivia and called Danielle's cell. Neither of them answered. I went back inside and was yelling for Olivia, and asked Jacob, who was playing in his room, "Where's your sister?" He was very helpful, "I don't know, where's my sister?" I made sure she wasn't just not answering me and went through the house quickly, I called Danielle again at some point, and in my search for Olivia I realized that Amber was gone too. So I grabbed Jacob and went back outside to search for Olivia, I was going to start down at Jennifer's and then really freak out. Just as we got halfway down the driveway, Danielle, Olivia, and Amber were on their way up the sidewalk. Mystery solved. She had unlocked the door, which she knows how to do Danielle said, (even tho she can't open the front door from the outside or open the car door...) and went and knocked on the door, with no pants on. Danielle wondered why I let her go down the street not dressed. She didn't have her phone with her, but heard someone yelling. I told Olivia that that was naughty and she can't go outside if I'm not around. She never did anything like that before and hopefully she won't again, I aged 5 years! Just kidding. Hopefully... My favorite birthday wish I got this year was on Facebook from my friend Todd, he said "Happy first anniversary of your 21st birthday!" I told him that was my favorite birthday wish, but that I was also horrified that I am now old enough to have anniversaries of past birthdays. I can't afford to age any faster than the normal rate!

Travvy Christmas to All...

I broke out my Christmas Mix CD today while we were waiting in the carpool line to drop Olivia off at school. I am sick of Ariel and Belle, although I had originally been trying to get them to listen to The Little Mermaid and/or Beauty & the Beast rather than Spongebob every car ride. Too much of a good thing... I had taken Jacob to the mall one day last week and they already have the Christmas tree up and were hanging lights and decorations, so I figured, "Why not?" I was very happy with myself for deciding to play it, I thoroughly enjoyed it! I made the CD last year or the year before, I don't remember, but I wrote on the disc with Sharpie, the title, "Travvy Christmas to All." I thought it was so clever. Another thing about listening to the Christmas music, was that it knocked both Olivia and Jacob out on the way home. I was worried about them taking good naps then after lunch, but Jacob slept til 4:30, and only came out because I went into to check on him. I don't think he went right to sleep when he went for the nap, so he wasn't sleeping that entire time but it was still a long nap.

Equally as clever as the CD title, are the Christmas shirts I want to make, with Christmas song lyrics. I had the idea last year because at Wegmans we are allowed to wear holiday themed shirts instead of the uniform shirts around the holidays. I wanted to make a big splash, cause a downright scene, (nothing like me, I know, probably why I didn't get around to making them, tho I definitely plan on it again this year, planning isn't sewing, but....) Anyway, they were going to be completely innocent, Classic Christmas Song lyrics, but with a twist. Not even really with a twist, just the lyrics, directly quoted. I want to make two shirts, one that says, "Don we now our gay apparel!" and one that says, "Make the Yuletide Gay!" I was planning on trying to cut letters out and appliqueing the words on a shirt, which is do-able but would be a pain. But now I am thinking, I could so make a Graphic that I can post on the blog, and you can print it out on Iron-On paper and have your very own Licensed Tranny Manny attire! Would that not be so cool? How many people would bother if I did this? Let me know, I think that is such a fun thing! The only thing better would be if someone knows a screen-printer or something! What an exciting idea! I just hope no one who doesn't know me just stumbles across this blog randomly on the internet and steals my ideas for these Christmas shirts. Or anyone who does know me stealing these ideas. But none of you would do that, right? Phew, didn't think so.

xoxo, Travvy

"Follow This, You Bitches!" -Cher

This title is no reflection on my followers, I just find it amusing. Gotta love Cher.
Everyone loves my blog, I get rave reviews. When I went home to Pennsylvania last weekend, I was praised for my blogging finesse and actually bowed down to. Honestly! I know, I know. I have a tendency for wild over-exaggeration, but I didn't make this up, it happened right there behind the registers. Thanks Again Judy! <3 Haha, you earned a shout-out!
But speaking of exaggerating... No, not everyone loves my blog. Hard to believe, yes, but true. I was informed by my friend Catherine that my blog "SUCKS!" Its not that she doesn't love it as much as the next person, but she loves it soooo much and it sucks because I never update. She demands daily posts! Crystal, you have to be forceful apparently haha. This was Friday night. I didn't update until now tho, because I decided that I have weekends off. So there.
Where to begin. I had stories that I was remembering specifically to include the next time I got around to blogging, but when I went to sit down I couldn't remember... I remember Olivia's story, but I forget Jacob's, I have one, but I don't know if that's the one I am thinking of. I'm obviously thinking of it at this moment, but I meant I don't know if that was the one I am trying to remember. Oh well, it's the one I'll share in any case.
They are both Star Wars themed. I am going to leave a big space at the end of this post, so that as you are reading it you should be scrolling down the page, making the words go up and off the screen, like in the beginning of the movies where they give you that overview. If you are using a laptop tilt the screen back further than straight up so that the words come at an angle, for a more authentic feel. And hum the Star Wars Theme under your breath, too!
Jacob and I were playing in his room, we were sitting on his bed which was in acuality his spaceship. It was hard to follow because he would call me Luke, and then he was Luke, I don't know, smile and nod. Both the kids like to play this game, "Where's Mommy?" (At work,) "Where's Daddy?" (At work,) where's this person, at home, where's so-and-so, at home. They also play what does this character say, with Spongebob and friends, and Star Wars characters. Jacob hadn't asked me what Yoda says, I don't know what he asked or told me, but I responded with "MMMmmmm...mmMMMMmmm" in the Yoda voice. Jacob yelled, "GET OUT OF HERE, YODA!" Maybe you had to have been there, but it was so funny. I just remembered the story I was saving for the blog, I will come back to it, it doesn't have to do with Star Wars. I should sit on it incase I come up empty since now I have to come up with something to write every night without fail, but I might forget it again so I'll just write it tonight. If I am hard pressed for a topic at any point this week, maybe I'll just write, "please see that extra story below." Just kidding I won't do that. I hope you're still Star Wars Scrolling! The interactive blog quip in one of my earliest posts was a big hit with Alisa, so its interactive again. I also started watching Sex and the City today, so that should inspire me to keep on top of the blogging. I feel like Carrie typing her column on her Mac just like mine, haha. "I couldn't help but wonder..." Anyway back to Olivia's Star Wars story, and then when I tell the second story about Jacob you can quit the scrolling, which again, you are still supposed to be doing! Stop humming though, its getting annoying.
Olivia and I were playing outside on the trampoline, I'm not sure where Jacob was, but someone was home, I wasn't working haha. She was jumping and I was just standing on the outside. The tramp is enclosed with this netting fence, and the kids like to lean against it and be shoved and they fall down and bounce. We don't push them down, especially Olivia is repelled backwards by mostly her own force, walking, and just decides when to plop down. But they think its fun. So that it what we were doing. And somehow Star Wars came up, I don't know if it was the "what does Darth Vader say?" game or how it started but I started making Darth Vader's breathing noise. Olivia started saying "aahh oh no, stop making that noise Darth Vader!" So I said, that's my breathing noise, if I'm not making that noise I'm not breathing, so I was like "bleh, ehhh" and she said "Okay Darth Vader, you can breath, sure, make that noise." Haha aw.
When they ask "what does (insert Star Wars character) say?" they use Darth Vader's breathing and for the rest they use iconic phrases, but once when Jacob asked what Princess Leia says, I couldn't think of anything obvious she said, so I said "I don't know, what does Princess Leia say?" He affected a high, girl voice and said, "AAAHHHH! DARTH VADER! AAAHHH!" That was so funny, because of how he did it and also she really doesn't say that, but it was so cute.
Okay, you can stop scrolling down now, I don't know if that's far enough to make all the Star Wars go off the top of the screen like i was going for, but oh well. So the original story I said I couldn't remember but then ended up remembering. I forgot it again. Just Kidding. That would stink, but I remember it, don't worry! Jacob and I were in the driveway, and the firepit was sitting there with chairs around it. I just realized that this does have Star Wars in it, but you don't have to scroll anymore, the Star Wars part isn't integral to the plot. Jacob had a straw and on of those glow necklaces that you snap and make glow, it wasn't attached at the ends so it wasn't a necklace just a straight thing, and the glow had died long ago (in a galaxy far far away...) So he was putting the necklace into the straw and then flinging it out, or just tipping it out, and this was "Blowing up the Deathstar." I wasn't sure if he was shooting the necklace at the Deathstar and blowing it up or the straw and necklace thing were the Deathstar and when it came out it was the blowing up... Anyway, he knew, he was entertained. None of that has anything to do with the point. This is the funny part. At least to me. So I was just standing around while he was running around bombing the Empire to oblivion. At some point he was by the chairs and he told me to sit down. I told him, "I don't want to sit down, I want to dance!" Which I found uproariously hilarious, though I did not laugh, which I found still funnier.
xoxo, Travvy

Please disregard everything about the scrolling, the site didn't like the massive space between the second last and the last paragraph and had an error trying to post it. Its the thought that counts, I thought it was a clever idea.
I also don't know why the indentations of the paragraphs went away, I tried to put them back in but now the tab key sends me to another part of the web page....
And I just tried the scrolling thing and it works even without the big space. You probably did it anyway by the time you got the message about disregarding it, tho anyway, so
xoxo, Travvy