Knight in Swishy Track Pants

I went with Darren and Olivia to Wal*Mart this afternoon to do some grocery shopping. As soon as we walked in I saw something I had to have. Haha. But before I begin, I feel the need to tell a story of my visit with my friend Alisa while I was home for Christmas. She asked if there was any news on the dating front, and I said, no, but that this guy at the mall had smiled at me. I don't know if I included that story in my blog, I may have, but if not, that was the story. I was at the mall with Jacob and a guy smiled at me as we walked past. She was cracking up, and said that it was classic me. (Which it so is.) She said that she was asking about dating or prospects, and a random guy just smiling at me does not warrant a mention, but that (in my mind) he and I shared a moment. Haha. I thought of that conversation again the other day and I was laughing about it.

So Darren, Olivia and I are at Wal*Mart, and I see this cute guy. He had short brown hair, and was wearing a black shirt, and black track pants with white stripes down the legs, you know the ones. So Olivia was being a spaz, Darren was picking out oranges, and I was staring at this guy, haha. At one point I caught his eye... So we went on with our shopping and I kept seeing him throughout the aisles. Well we were in an aisle and he was walking down the line at the end of the aisles. Olivia was being loud and like yelling, so I was telling her to hush. Darren said it didn't help that he doesn't mind her doing it, and then I said, actually its okay because I am trying to draw attention to myself. Haha.

At one point I took Olivia's hands, and was swinging her around in circles. She was laughing and carrying on. This lady in the aisle said that Olivia will remember that when she's older. Aw. Even if she wouldn't have, now it'll probably end up in the book. So Olivia kept asking me to "make her dizzy." I would be telling her no, but then all of a sudden do it, which Darren commented on. But I was telling her no because there were people in the way that we would slam into, and the second they were clear I flung her around. As I was doing this one time, Track Pants walked past and smiled. I texted Danielle and told her that Olivia helped me score points this time, unlike the time at Barnes and Noble when I saw the guy in the Gay and Lesbian section and I blamed her and Jacob for the missed connection. Although in hindsight, I think she did it again, because the reason that that guy didn't approach me is clearly that he assumed that I was with Darren and Olivia was my kid. I can't win.

Though I was with Darren last night. We went on a date, out to the movies to see Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly on their Bold & Fresh Tour. We got split up at the ticket window. I was going to say something smart, about, "Can you believe this guy, making me buy my own ticket? Some date." But he wasn't standing next to me, so I didn't get to say that, haha. He bought a bucket of popcorn, and he was holding it on his lap, and I was sharing. "There's not a hole in the bottom of the bucket is there?" I asked, and he answered, "Yeah, and that's where all the butter is." I thought I would spare you, but Danielle insisted that I give you all the gruesome details. Then when it was over and he pulled into the driveway, I was like, "Wait a minute, this is your place! What kinda girl do you think I am?" He told me one that doesn't deserve any respect, and to get inside. Before my date with Darren I went on a date with Danielle. She said something like, "Talk about unconventional families!" Haha. We went shopping for a dress for her Mexican vacay, that Darren earned for stellar sales last year. We didn't really find anything. Well at White House-Black Market I found this black sequin tuxedo jacket, for myself, but it was an extra small. Boo. And then we had dinner at Bonefish Grill. I won't tell you what else she said about my date with Darren while we were at the restaurant. I thought the popcorn story was bad, but this I cannot repeat.

Oh and we can't forget the car. I had a windshield wiper debacle. I needed new ones, and I went to get some last week. I took one off so I knew what to get. Luckily they have this little machine where you choose your car and it tells you what you need. I would have just got two of the same, I didn't know that the driver's and passenger's side were different lengths. So I got new wipers, and then also one of my turn signals is out, so I was looking for bulbs. They have one of the nifty machines that tells you what bulb you need too, but they were out of what I needed. So I went and tried to put my new wiper blades on in the parking lot. I couldn't figure it out. I thought I broke the arm somehow because the new one wouldn't go on. I picked the kids up, and after their naps they played outside riding bikes, and I tried to figure out my wipers again. I discovered I didn't break the arm, I broke a peice of the old blade off in the arm, so I got that out and the new one just clicked right in. Ta-da!

I got the bulb I needed for my turn signal a few days later, and I thought Darren might know how to help me put it in. But he didn't. Its not hard to screw in a light bulb, but I don't know how to get the cover off the taillight. Apparently you have to take the whole car apart, how convenient. So I was unscrewing some stuff in the trunk, and then I was unscrewing something I couldn't see, just feel. I didn't end up being able to get the light out, and I couldn't find where to rescrew the thing I took off that I couldn't see. So my car hasn't fallen apart so far. Tomorrow I'll do it the old fashioned way, take it somewhere and have someone do it for me.

xoxo, Travvy

Not tonight Honey, I have a headache

I have been slacking. Well, obviously. Bad week for the blog. Tomorrow, I promise. Maybe.

xoxo, Travvy

Title Banner Madness

Ew, look at my blog all sports themed and hetero-ed out. I even have eye black on in my profile picture to the right, if you'll notice, haha. I made a Mardi Gras banner, but the boss handed down the law that I make a Saints banner. Mardi Gras and the Super Bowl are both coming up around the same time. Okay, I just checked, the Super Bowl is on the seventh, Mardi Gras is the sixteenth, even though it is already going on, Fat Tuesday is the sixteenth, and I also have a Valentine's Day banner to put up... So I will put the Saints one up now, and then the Mardi Gras one, and maybe the Valentine's Day one only on Valentine's Day itself. There really was no point to letting you know this, you would have just seen the various one's at the top as I changed them, but whatever.

xoxo, Travvy

"Mommy has to go poo poo"

As Danielle announced in the parking lot at Barnes & Noble this evening, before she was like, "Oh, did I just say that out loud?"

Yesterday after lunch, I was in the bathroom when Olivia started screaming and crying. I asked her if she pinched her finger in the door, she was screaming that her finger hurt, and she was in and out of her room from what I heard. She said that was what happened. Jacob was suspiciously proclaiming his innocence and blaming Asche, although neither Olivia nor I had accused him of anything. I asked Olivia if a cookie would make her finger feel better, and she said it would. Cookies solve everything. So I gave her two cookies. I gave Jacob a couple, and turned around--Olivia was holding her finger between the cookies. ... I was like, the cookies make your finger feel better when you put them in your tummy, and that ice goes on your finger, so I got her some ice.

After nap Amanda invited us over to play. We were over for a little while, and then Jacob said he had to go potty. I was out in the hall and he called me, saying that he peed in his underwear. I walk in, he was standing in the middle of the bathroom, not even that near the toilet. He had indeed peed all up in his underwear, they were only halfway down, and he was still going. All over. His underpants were completely soaked, along with his pants, and a huge puddle all over the floor that I had to clean up. Amanda brought a plastic bag to put his clothes in. I had no intention of touching them, I held the bag open and told Jacob to put his clothes in it. He flung his underwear and hit me in the hand. I was so cranky. I was just telling Amanda how I was exhausted, even though I had gone to bed relatively early the night before. After that mess I was even more tired. We went home and when Danielle got home, we cleaned up toys and I went to bed. At like 6.

Today I took Jacob to the park while Olivia was at school and to Toys "R" Us. At the park, Jacob wanted to be pushed on the swings. He likes to go in the baby swings that are like a diaper shaped harness, you know what I'm talking about. Even if you don't, it doesn't matter, just smile and nod. Good. Well they were somehow lowered or something, or the mulch was filled in, they were not even a foot of the ground. They were almost touching. So I wouldn't push him on those, his feet were going to drag. The normal swings wouldn't do though, Oh No no no. So he went on this rocket thing on a spring, again, you probably know about those, usually animals, made of metal on a big spring and you rock on it. Smile and nod. And we played on the equipment for awhile. Then he wanted to go, but I talked him into walking the paths they have. He was whiny even though he initially agreed. Then I tricked him into liking it, because I said it was a train track and he was pretending to be Percy. Every lamp post we passed he said was Cranky the Crane, so we had to stop and wait for Cranky to load boxes on his freight cars. Then some trees became Cranky too, so we kept stopping every few steps. After naps the three of us all went to another park. The kids were playing. Then this trashy kid kept talking to me. I forget what he kept calling me, I don't think it was dude, but it was that or something stupid like that. I was ignoring him at first until he was like right next to me and there was no avoiding him. He asked if I could run fast and I was like I guess... So he was all like chase me, and I was all like, no. Then at one point he was by us again and he asked me to pick him up to reach the monkey bars, and I was like no, if you're not big enough to reach you might fall and get hurt. (Like I care, but I don't need to be picking up strange trashy kids.)

When Danielle got home, we went to the Post Office, no sirens this time. Oh which reminds me, on our way to the park I saw a school bus pulled over by state trooper, haha. After the Post Office we went to, wait for it...CHUCK E. CHEESE!!!!!! I probably haven't been there in like two years! Just kidding, it wasn't that long. Just kidding, it was considerably longer. I don't seem to have gotten much better at ski ball. I did fairly well, but not like my parents used to. Jacob was chucking balls over hand instead of rolling them.

After Chuck E. Cheese we went to Barnes & Noble as I said, and as Danielle said...

Ah yes, Who Dat? Sunday was the Saints Play-Off game, and it was a big happening in the Milner household as you can imagine. Darren prepared a big feast, Tur-Duck-Hen, (turkey stuffed with duck stuffed with chicken,) boudin balls, crawfish pies, a lot of stuff. Catherine, Adam, and Hayden, Amanda, Max, and Barrett, and Jamie came over to watch, and eat. From what I understand, the game went well. History being made, blah blah. They won, on to the Super Bowl. I'm not really that apathetic toward it, but what am I supposed to say about it? I gave ya a "Who Dat!?" Oh yeah, so I was wearing one of Darren's Saints jerseys, (my flaxen hair and black t-shirt didn't cut it for black and gold,) and Danielle was doing laundry and sent me to the closets for hangers. I got the kids' and then while I was in Danielle and Darren's walk-in collecting theirs I came upon Danielle's old jersey. So I put that on. It caused a sensation when I came back out to the party. I said it fit better. Haha. It was short and tight, not too tight, just more "fitted." So if we go to New Orleans for the game I told Danielle I have to wear hers.

xoxo, Travvy

Just think of it as TRANNY MANNY: Greatest Hits

I'm not writing tonight. I spent nap time dying my hair, and then fixing the post that was somehow screwed up:

HEAVY F (_) ( K ! l\l G METAL!

I had to go through it line by line to fix the layout. I still don't know what was wrong with it, but I was told by two different sources that it was unreadable. You could read it, it was just hard, but I spent the afternoon editing it to read normally and then I took a break when Amanda and Barrett came over to play, and then finished up just now. So in lieu of a new news, read or reread the Heavy Metal post. I was laughing at my own witticism when I read a part of it during the layout repairs. The part about him being nicknamed "Ponytail" because he was bald. Hahaha.

xoxo, Travvy

Baby's First Tornado Siren

How do you like the newest title banner? That split was hard in

those shoes! It almost wasn't pretty! But I was able to work it out,

not to worry. Those boots are made for blogging and to strike fear

into the hearts of young children! Muahahaha!

There was a Tornado Warning tonight! I don't know, maybe it was a Watch, but it was a something. My mom had called in the afternoon to say that there was a watch or something, but it was still fair weather at that point. A thunderstorm did come about an hour later though. When Danielle got home from work we went to the Post Office down in Canton. We were going to run other errands, but on our way there Danielle turned off the radio and opened her window because she had heard the Tornado Siren. I didn't here it until she turned the music off and rolled the window down. We went to the Post Office and Danielle ran in to pick up the mail. Melanie called to make sure that we were in the bathtub, but I told her we were down in Canton. She said to be careful. Danielle told me before she went in to listen for it sounding like a train, so then to take cover. I'm not sure what that means, Darren had said that's what its supposed to sound like once before too. Hopefully I don't find out what it means. Danielle didn't seem worried, but we went right home, we didn't do the other errands. On the way back she said, "Nothing's flying around, so that's a good sign," and when we got back, it was just business as usual. The lights flickered once and we thought the power might go out, but it didn't. I texted my mom to tell her that we heard the siren and I was watching the news to read the warnings. Then I had to be sure to text my friend Kim, because she is desperately afraid of tornadoes, so I made sure to ruffle her feathers, haha. I'm so mean. She was predictably worried. One time I was at an outdoor concert with the fam and we got chased out by tornadoes in Pennsylvania, but this was the first alarm I experienced, like in Twister or Night of the Twisters. Everything relates back to movies or television, haha. Mom loves when I start stories with, "There was an episode of the Golden Girls..."

I am cooking dinner for tomorrow night right now, tuna macaroni salad. How domestic of me, haha. I am doing it now in case I don't feel like making it tomorrow. The water is taking forever to boil! I remember after I posted last night that I forgot something I wanted to include, but I didn't feel like going back in and adding it. I figured I would just put it in tonight, but now I can't remember what it was... Oh, I think it was about my books. I finished the one that I had been reading before I went on my shopping spree, so I started reading the Victoria Gotti one, which I finished that the other night, too. As if anyone cares haha. So now I'm on to the Mississippi Sissy one. I'm sure everyone cares less about my cooking than my reading, but the water just came to a boil, so I poured in the pasta, now I have to wait for it to boil again.

xoxo, Travvy

That Darn Cat

I will be laying in bed, on Facebook, or like tonight I was reading, but suffice it to say awake, and all of a sudden something slams into the door. This happens relatively often, or at least enough that I shouldn't hit the ceiling when it does, it happened last night but I still jumped when it happened a few minutes ago. Its just stinking Asche, demanding to be let in.

Amanda made lasagna for dinner and invited us over. It was very good! Then we took Olivia to gymnastics, and after that Danielle and I didn't feel like going home, so we went to Barnes and Noble. Jacob was playing with the Thomas set in the kids section, and he asked me if I wanted to play with James. I said no, thank you, that I did not want to play with James, and he said something about, "No, they are boy toys" or boys' toys or something. I was like, and just what is that supposed to mean? But I didn't say it. I just thought it was weird, but he can't have meant it the way I took it, obviously. He must have meant boy as in kid. Amber just smacked head first into the bedroom door now too. I didn't jump that time though.

xoxo, Travvy

Amber is Snoring

Where to begin? I haven't blogged all week, and the days are running together. I may as well talk about the picture, then start with today, and fill in the other happenings at random, chronology isn't really integral to the plot. There really is no plot anyway.

So this is a train track I built this week. I had to take a picture of it because I was so proud of myself. Darren always makes fun of me, because I may be a lot of things, but an engineer is not one of them. Whenever I make a train track, there is inevitably some flaw, like a loop that the train can't get off of once it gets on, or some mess like that. The big blue thing in the center is a waterfall play set that Jacob got for his birthday. It is pretty steep, so if there are more than like two cars behind the engine, it flies down the incline, crashes and derails at the bottom. That's nothing to do with my engineering, that's the toy company's fault. The way the play set works, it's just a loop, the train goes up the loops to the top of the waterfall and down, and then at the bottom goes back up again. I have tried to include it in larger track schemes in the past, but the way I integrated it and added tracks, if a train took a certain turn it would end up going the wrong way on the waterfall part of the tracks, and go up the waterfall. Since its so steep, the trains get about halfway up and then slide back down, and then goes halfway back up again and falls back down, until one of the kids either pushes it up by hand, or hurls it across the room. This time I managed to set it up so that any direction the train came from, the that lead to the waterfall only led in the right direction! The train had to start in the right direction in the first place for that to work, but it did. I didn't tell the kids the train had to face a certain way at first, but they set them up that way. The track lasted probably a day, I was surprised it survived that long. I had to replace a segment of track here and there that came disconnected, but they didn't demolish it. The pieces of track started to come apart really frequently though, and it was never a huge thing that they couldn't easily have fixed without my help, but they were playing helpless, so eventually I got tired of it and stopped coming to the rescue. They played on the rest of the track that was still together, which was whittling down smaller and smaller, since I stopped fixing it and they wouldn't do it for themselves, until it was ultimately decimated.

This morning, Olivia woke me up, shrieking, crying, screaming bloody murder, around 5:30. Last week she was getting up at around 6:30, still too early, but at least I had another hour. Then it was her missing parents that had caused the fits of hysteria, which, though trying, were understandable and to be expected. This morning, however, I don't think she knew or cared that Mommy and Daddy weren't home. Jeremy, her toy plane, was lost, and it was the absolute end of the world. I have experienced her going out of her mind over not being able to find a toy (more often than not, it's sitting right next to her or behind her, or at least hidden in plain sight somewhere...) but this was by far the worst meltdown to date! Maybe it was just that it was so early and I was still 3/4's asleep, but it was really bad.

When we dropped Olivia off, Jacob wanted to go to Toys "R" Us. We drop Olivia off at 9 and Toys "R" Us doesn't open til 10. I said we should go to Target because it wasn't open yet, but he was insistent that we just go straight to the toy store and just wait for them to open. I was just like whatever, I had my book along, so I was fine just sitting there in the parking lot reading. I figured it was easier than wandering Target when we didn't need to buy anything, or dragging him through the mall. So I read and he was playing with Thomas stickers and bouncing off the walls. When ten rolled around we went in and he played with the train set, and when I was sick of standing there I pried him away and we wandered around looking at everything.

I have a lot of G.I. Joe's back home. I'm not really sure how it came about, I guess I slur or something and it sounds like "Jigh" instead of "Gee, Aye," so now my mom and I always say Jigh Joe. By the time I started playing with G.I. Joe's I was a teenager or at least pre-teen so I could speak by then. Although I allegedly mumble, and my dad used to call me mush mouth sometimes. Which brings me to a tangent, a story I told my mom before I moved down here to start my manny position. When Olivia gets excited, or upset, or sometimes just for no mood reason she just talks a mile a minute and it just sounds like unintelligible gibberish. I told Mom that with me watching her, Olivia would never learn to speak and my speech would just degenerate and we would only be able to communicate with one another. Haha. When we got to that section, Jacob asked who's that, so I told him it was G.I. Joe. (I made sure that I told him the correct pronunciation, haha.) But he started calling them "Joe-Joe". So I texted Mom to tell her about that since it was funny.

I decided to make breakfast for dinner. I was making eggs, but then I remembered that we need a vegetable, and all there was in the freezer was peas, mixed vegetables, and lima beans. Those don't go with eggs. Then I thought to check in the fridge, and, Ah-Ha! A pepper. So I diced it up so that I could make an omelet. I put cheese in too. I was so impressed with myself, I thought, oh look at me so fancy. Well it didn't end up to be much of an omelet after all. It turned out as scrambled eggs with pieces of pepper thrown in. Oh well, the kids didn't know I was attempting to make an omelet, if they know what that even is. It was good anyway.

Yesterday we went to Harry the Potter, where you paint pottery. I prophesied before we left the house that this would not go well. There are two of these places in the area, at least two storefronts. Danielle had told me if I wanted to take them there that I had to go to one and not the other because one of them was closed. Of course I didn't remember which was which so I just picked one. Wouldn't you know it was the wrong one. We got there and there were signs in the window that said SPACE AVAILABLE. The kids were ready to jump out and I told them it was closed. Olivia had a breakdown. I explained that she could still paint, we just had to go to a different one. So when we finally trekked across town to the right one, Olivia painted a sheep and Jacob painted a donkey. It didn't go as badly as I was expecting, I envisioned being covered in paint and the kids all a mess, but they were pretty neat about it. The painting didn't end up being the problem, it was just the getting there.

Darren made a homemade King Cake the other night. It was very good. That's really all I have to say about that, but I would have been remiss had I not mentioned it. Well speaking of king cakes, for those of you who don't know, and I am not really one to explain it, but they are for Mardis Gras, and they have a little plastic baby figurine inside, and whoever gets the slice with the baby in it has to buy the king cake next year. Darren bought king cakes for his office, and Danielle commented on how much they cost and asked why they should be that much? I said because they have real babies in them. In case anyone didn't find that particularly amusing, I won't share what "'What Line?' Danielle" came back with.

A big to-do this week was a hard freeze that caused water main breaks in Jackson wreaking havoc and closing the kids school for two days. Danielle had texted me Tuesday morning and told me that there was no school that day. I had seen that school was closed one day this month, so I thought nothing of it and rolled back over. When I got out of bed, I started thinking, "Wait, I thought that was next week..." So I looked at the calendar and sure enough, it is this coming Monday. I called Danielle but she didn't pick up, so I texted her and asked if she was sure it was today? At that point we may have made it to school or been late, but still in time for it to be worth going at all. Before she got back to me, but after it would have been too late to bother going to school, I distinctly remembered seeing Olivia's teacher when we were on the way out on Monday, and her saying, "See you tomorrow Olivia!" So then I was like Oh Great!!! Olivia missed school. But then Danielle texted me back and said that there had been pipes that burst. Phew. Even though that was much worse than Olivia missing a day of school, the city was out of commission for days, I was relieved. Well the way Danielle said it, I thought that it was just pipes at the school, not all over town. But still.

I think that I hit all the main events. Amanda and Barrett came to play one day, and I hung out with Melanie and Brent the other night. Today it was cold in the morning, but this afternoon was nice and "mild," so we went outside and the kids rode their bikes.

xoxo, Travvy

Misery

I kept putting off blogging in favor of working on a new bag I started sewing this afternoon. I felt fine all day, but around five o'clock my sinuses became completely blocked and I feel like crap. I meant to blog, but like I said I was sewing and now I am worn out. It's the thought that counts, I planned on an actual post. Just use one of Jacob's latest catch-phrases, "Too Bad," or "Oh Well," though I don't suggest throwing your computer the way he throws the toy or whatever he is holding or nearby. I will update eventually, if not tomorrow, so if you did that, when I finally do you won't be able to read it.

xoxo, Travvy

Everyone is Cranky Today

Jacob and I had a lightsaber battle yesterday. For him it is a game, but I actually am defending myself! I have to parry his death-dealingly hard blows or else I'm a goner. I'm not always that good at it, and he hits my fingers instead of my lightsaber, and it really hurts. Eventually I had to resort to fighting dirty. I ran into his bedroom and started using the force to hurl pillows at him.

We went and played at Catherine's in the afternoon, well the kids played and Catherine and I had coffee. Then Darren got home after 5, Danielle had given me an ETA of him getting in around Olivia's waking up time, but no luck haha. Jacob threw a fit, and toys, when it was time to go. He was soo bad I don't know why. Ugh. We went out for pizza, and then the kid's had baths and bedtime. I went back to hang out at Catherine's and we had celebratory "We Survived the Week" cocktails. I survived the week alone with the kids and she survived her first week at her new job. We watched Hayden and Curtis play a dancing game on Wii, and then we played Rummy Tiles with Curtis. Then Catherine and I played the dancing game, and Adam said we looked ridiculous, but it was fun. Then we were overheated so we went on Facebook and looked at people's pictures. Next we watched The Soup and Cops, and by then it was 2ish, so I went home.

We plan on going clubbing tonight. I am excited to go, but I don't feel like going through my beauty regimen. I will man up and do it at some point. Haha, "manning up" to tweeze eyebrows? And I have to pick out an outfit. I think I might wear my new shirt my mom gave me for Christmas that says "Thank You, Mood!"

xoxo, Travvy

Almost! One More Day!

And then all next week, oh goodie! Olivia didn't get upset this morning. I'm not sure but I don't think she even bothered with the bedroom door. When I tucked her in last night she said, "And you're going to go lay on the couch." So she just came directly to me on the sofa this morning and asked to lay down. Danielle said that Olivia not crying today was a sign that I'm doing such a good job. No matter how good a job I am doing this week, the weekend will wipe it out and we will be back to drama next week... Jacob woke up when she did, he had been sleeping in later, but today he was up and at 'em and so he wanted to lay on the couch too. Olivia laid next to me so there was no room, he had to lay on me. It would have been fine but he kept rutching and kicking me in the groin. Luckily he never got a direct hit.

When we dropped Olivia off he wanted to go to Target, but I asked if he wouldn't rather go to the mall? He agreed to the mall. I got him a pack of M&Ms from the vending machine, but it ate two quarters without registering them, so I couldn't get a soda, and I was aggravated to no end. We walked them mall, and I couldn't think of anything else to do. When we left it wasn't even ten and he said he just wanted to go home, so that's what we did.

Darren made dinners for the week last weekend, and we had jumbalaya the other night. There was a lot left so I decided to make that for lunch instead of hot dogs or sandwiches. It seems that all the sausage had floated to the top because it was mostly rice and like 4 peices of sausage. We had red beans and rice the other night too, so I just put the red beans over the rice and we had that for lunch.

While the kids were napping I debated taking a nap myself, but I opted to read. As soon as Olivia woke up and my window of opportunity was closed, I got hit with the biggest wave of exhaustion. Jacob woke up soon after she did and I was laying on the couch while they watched their obligatory after nap allotment of TV. The chairs wouldn't suit them though, they had to lay on the couch too. So back to being crammed by Olivia and kicked by Jacob.

We didn't do anything exciting this afternoon because I was beat. Jacob destroyed the train track I built and immediately expected me to fix it. No, you shouldn't have broken it. So they played with the trains on the remains of the track and made a big mess of the house I just cleaned yesterday.

I made frozen pizza for dinner and then we before baths we dropped in on Catherine, unannounced, for her birthday. We brought flowers and the cookies that were for them for Christmas. We hadn't seen them between now and Christmas, so... Catherine said they smelled fresh. Haha. Oh that reminds me, when we picked up the flowers, I told the kids they were for Ms. Catherine for her birthday, and Olivia said, "Ms. Catherine is going to smell her flowers with her nose." Haha. Which also reminds me, Olivia has this annoying way of hovering in car doors, when she's on her way in or out, she just stops dead and hangs out, which is not pleasant when its sooo cold out like it has been. I thought of that because that is what she was doing when she told me how Catherine was going to sniff her flowers. We made plans to go to Catherine's house sometime tomorrow afternoon to play.

xoxo, Travvy

Retail Therapy

I can't speak for the kids (this morning when Olivia woke up, she came out, tried her parents' bedroom door, and upon finding it locked, she started crying and said, "Mommy and Daddy don't like me!") but any stress or strain and hardship Danielle being out of town has been putting me through was diffused, at least for a short time, was diffused by a shopping spree! I was beside myself, I went to town in Barnes and Noble, and the best part, (beside the obvious -the truckload I left with-), was that its guilt free! I got gift cards for Christmas, all it cost me, in cash, was 36 cents! I was stupid excited, I got a lifetime supply of books. I had been eyeing this biography/expose on Paul Newman, and how his public image was squeaky clean and ever faithful to Joanne Woodward, but that in reality he slept with all his costars, even the boys. I think its in poor taste to drag someone's name through the mud like that after they die, and I debated whether or not I should buy it, but morbid curiosity got the better of me. I couldn't help it. I was thinking maybe I should read a respectable biography beforehand, but I probably won't... So I had seen that before and was thinking of possibly getting that, but before I went to the Biography Section, I was browsing the Half Off rack. I found a book by Victoria Gotti about her family and their "family" so I snatched that up. It was half off, and I was a fan of her show "Growing Up Gotti." On our way to Uncle Danny and Aunt Betty's house for Thanksgiving, Darren and I had been listening to Sean Hannity's radio show, but he had off and this guy was filling in that founded the Guardian Angels who are like a neighborhood crime watch group, but there are chapters all over the country. Anyway he was talking about the Gotti's and that he was almost whacked by them, and so I needed to read all about it. She supposedly is "setting the record straight" because of all the tabloids and rumors and everything, none of which I have ever seen, but it will be interesting to me I'm sure. When I got to the Biography Section, before I found the Paul Newman book, a title caught my eye: Mississippi Sissy. I texted Danielle because it was so funny and she suggested I needed it. I thought so before she got back to me. It is a memoir of this gay guy who now is an editor for Vanity Fair and Allure magazines, growing up in Mississippi. Gay guy in Mississippi, sounds familiar, must have. So I picked up a copy of the Paul Newman one and went to fiction. I'm not sure what grade in high school, either freshman or sophomore year, I started reading Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. I read the first 5 in the series so far, and more recently I had started reading her Lives of the Mayfair Witches series. I read the first two of the 3 Mayfair Witches books, and I am currently reading the third. I am in the middle of a book right now, yet I was compelled to buy up 38 more brand new books. Haha. I thought that it was just a trilogy, but today I found out that further down the line in the Vampire Chronicles, the two series cross paths and intertwine. I got very excited. I bought the next book in the Vampire Chronicles, and another of her books, The Feast of All Saints, which isn't a part of a series, just a stand alone novel, about the people in pre-Civil War New Orleans, descended from the Spanish and French people and their slaves, "free people of color." The book that came next in the Vampire Chronicles, after the one I had just picked out and obviously not even read yet, Barnes and Noble didn't have in stock. I considered having it ordered, it's not like I needed it immediately, I didn't read the preceding book yet, and even if I had, I had a ton of other reading material in the mean time. But I also happened to have a Borders giftcard. So I bought the books I had picked out and set off in search of Borders. I knew around where it is, I have been there before, but I had trouble finding it. I kept texting Danielle in the middle of her training class to help me find it, and eventually I got there. They had what I was looking for so I got that. I think I'm set, I'll be reading into 2020. Haha. Or at the very least, 2011. Not only am I reading the Anne Rice book I already had, but a few weeks ago I started reading Pride and Prejudice after I watched the movie with Danielle. I sometimes read in a chair in the living room, especially on Sundays while Darren is watching football, but I have trouble following P&P while there are other things going on around me, so that will probably take a backseat, I haven't been reading it in awhile so it pretty much already has...

I was pumped to read after the kids had lunch and were off to nap, but before I went on my book binge spending spree extravaga, before we even left the house this morning to go to school, I had decided that I needed to do a major overhaul of the chores. There were toys everywhere, and I left the dishes pile up, so I needed to reclaim the house. I am notorious for taking forever to clean, I always manage to find some distraction along the way. Like when I was younger I'd rediscover some toy I had lost in the debris and start playing instead of picking up. Well wouldn't ya know... I was picking up the trains and I decided to make a train track for the kids. Old habits die hard. Jacob always asks me to build a train track, but he either helps, which is not always helpful necessarily, tho he means well, and he is the one playing after all, or he doesn't try to help at all and is just in the way. So I built a track and then picked up the leftovers. While I was at work, speak of the devil, Jacob came charging out of his room. Interesting how he asks if he can come out, when he's already in the kitchen, which is at the opposite side of the house from his bedroom. He wanted water, so I gave him a cup of water and then he wanted to watch TV or play. I told him he either had to help me pick up, or go back to bed. He was only in there for an hour, not even, and he always sleeps longer than that, so I knew he didn't have a long enough nap. He was really whiny so I just carried him back to bed, and when I laid him down he cried a minute but he fell back to sleep and had a good nap. Then I did the dishes. I have the worst dry, cracked, chapped hands in the winter, and the dishes didn't help, tho most of them I was able to put in the dishwasher but still. I had to rinse some of them, and I came across a cereal bowl that had some hideous substance that, once upon a time, had been milk in it. I feel like I probably got it in my cuts and will get some awful infection. I washed my hands good after, so I think I'll be fine.

When the kids woke up, I turned on Spongebob and then I texted Amanda to see if she wanted to bring Barrett over to play. She did. Jacob brought out his lightsaber, which prompted Olivia to get hers. They were swinging them around and I was worried that somebody was going to take Barrett out. I took away their lightsabers and Olivia was asking for them back. I said that they could play with them after Ms. Amanda and Barrett went home, so Olivia said to Barrett that he had to go home now. Haha.

It's weird because Olivia and Jacob weren't really playing with Barrett, but they were playing with toys and stuff off on their own not bothering with me. They usually don't entertain themselves if its just me, I have to be playing with them every minute.

Asche attacked Barrett and got put outside. I nicknamed her Fatty McBride today, I call her fatty sometimes but I don't know where the surname came from, it just sounds good with Fatty. She's not heavy, but all she wants to do is eat. She was sitting on the counter by her bowl, meowing at me, what she does when she wants to be fed. I walked over and there was food in there already. So that's when I called her that, I said, "you have food, Fatty McBride."

After Amanda and Barrett left we had dinner and then the kids had their bath. After bath time I made them pick up their own toys this time, I had cleaned up enough for today but I ended up doing most of it anyway. Then they played with the trains for awhile, and I said they could either keep playing until bedtime, or they could have a story. They opted for a story. Jacob picked a Thomas book. Then I told Olivia she could pick a book, and she brought a Spongebob one that had six stories. I read two, and then it was 8:30, time for bed.

I half want to read, but I half need to go to sleep. I woke up every hour last night between 2 a.m. and Olivia waking up at 6:30ish. I think I was worried I would oversleep and be late for school or something. I kept looking at the clock on the DVR, and since I was bleary eyed from just waking up I kept reading sevens instead of whatever number it actually was. I don't know why I should have been worried, Olivia wakes me before my alarm ever goes off so I should have known it would be fine. Oh well.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CATHERINE!!!

xoxo, Travvy

P.S. I don't know why this post is all weird looking compared to the other ones, the size is off, what the heck. Happy Birthday again to Catherine!

xoxo, Travvy

2 down 3 to go

I took Jacob to Wal*Mart today, Amber needed food, we had no hot dogs for lunches, and other crap, and we ran into Brandi and Satchel, and while we were talking to them Amanda and Barrett came along, so we all stood around talking. After naps we went to Katie's house and the kids played with Lindsay and Nathan. We went to Mazzio's for dinner. I had the kids sit down at the booth while I payed and when I came back to the table, it was covered in salt with little trails drawn in it by little fingers. Olivia had gymnastics tonight. I am probably going to bed in like 20 seconds.

xoxo, Travvy

1 down, 4 to go

We survived our first day without mommy and daddy, nothing interesting happened, Jacob had his first day of gymnastics.

xoxo, Travvy

Tranny Manny Strikes Back

I was just kidding. I didn't really call Donatella. I have a little more confidence in myself dealing this week than lining up guest lists and dress codes for my wake. I'm not really on a first name basis with Donatella Versace either. She does have this cute pet name for me though, "SECURITY! SECURITY!" Jealous?

So where did I leave off? I lost my driver's license the night before my flight back to Mississippi, and was up all night looking for it and eventually found it. Then my flights were delayed and delayed and I got back after eleven pee em. Is p.m. an abbreviation? Whatever for? Oh well. I should have kept up with this better, because now I can't remember anything that happened between Monday and Thursday. I knew everything I was going to share when I was writing but then Olivia fell and I never came back to it and now I forget everything. Oops.

Well on to the day after Olivia took her spill. I was helping Jacob put his socks on. He was laying down on his bed on his back, playing with his new lightsaber he got for Christmas. So really I wasn't so much helping him put them on as I was putting them on for him. He was holding the lightsaber over his head in a menacing, about to swing it down in a chopping motion and take you out with it, way. I told him, "Don't you hit me with that," and he said oh okay or something. He ended up smacking me upside the head anyway, but it wasn't hard he was just moving his arm and it bumped me, he didn't wind up and "let me have it." So he was like "Ooooh sorry!" expecting the wrath, but I said that it was okay, that it was an accident. "Yeah, it was an accident," he agreed. So we were out in the living room a few minutes later. I had my back turned to let Amber in the backdoor, and Olivia started bawling. Jacob had whacked her right in the forehead where she had hit it on the coffee table. He said it was an accident, and I was like, nice try, I just taught you that, so I confiscated his lightsaber and sent him to his room while I consoled Olivia.

The kids and I went to Maw Maw and Paw Paw's house on New Year's Eve. The drive wasn't too bad. The kids watched Star Wars the first half, then stopped at McDonalds. Olivia dumped her chocolate milk on the floor. I couldn't get the scene selection menu on the DVD to work, so it couldn't pick up where they left off before lunch, so it was my turn and I listened to music. They stayed awake, and only ended up sleeping for about half an hour. We got to Maw Maw's and unloaded, I got changed and all dolled up and set off for the French Quarter. It is probably twenty minutes from Maw Maw and Paw Paw's, but it took me over an hour to get there because I kept getting lost. I had a good time, but I didn't talk to anyone, no one approached me besides weirdos. The first guy, I walked into one of the gay bars on Bourbon Street and he came right up to me. I was like, ooh I didn't even make it to the bar haha go me. He introduced himself and asked if I was from around here. No. Oh, cause he wanted to know if I knew where to find some ecstasy. No sorry. Ugh. Haha.

I was hanging out at the Cat's Meow, where they have karaoke, and when I came out I stood off to the side of the building on the sidewalk and reapplied my lipstick. I carried a tube of lipstick and a mirror, because when I went out the last time, the shot girl at Razoo told me that I ought to have it on me, because I needed a touch up. Haha. So as I am puckering up in the mirror I got cat calls from this little band of people in the street, "HOTTIE!!!" Haha, that was one of the highlights. The thing that really made my night though, was getting a little pamphlet telling me to repent and go back to Jesus and stop my wicked, Bourbon St., partying ways. I am not kidding about that being a highlight, for some reason I was so happy when it was handed to me. I said "Yay religious propaganda!" out loud. Not that anyone could hear me though. It made me think of those shirts that say so and so went to such and such a place and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. I spent New Year's Eve on Bourbon Street and all I got was this lousy tract.

The last person that I talked to, I was sitting in Jackson Square, on the retaining wall where the fence is that encloses the grass part where the monument is. There were cars parked on the paved part. There was a guy standing between this white SUV I was sitting in front of and the wall I was sitting on. There was a DJ blaring over speakers at the front of the Square, assuming the Cathedral is at the back of the Square, I don't know. Anyway, this guy, I could tell he was talking to me, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. So I went over and he asked if this was my car. No. So he said, "Okay, because I'm going to pee here." I didn't respond or react because it didn't register what he had just said, so he said, "right now," and I heard "water running." I was like oh, because then it clicked and I ran away. It was funny even though it was nasty.

There was a Fleur de Lis dropping at midnight, like the ball that drops in New York, but I didn't get to see it. By midnight I was really just interested in leaving and I was trying to make it back to the parking lot. I was right across the street from the Fleur de Lis, but I was pinned against a building underneath a balcony by the mob so my view was obstructed. I saw some fireworks tho. I also saw a couple in the parking lot, laying on the asphalt making out, and under my breath I told them I hoped they got ran over. I didn't mean it but I was worn out and in no mood for such nonsense. Then I got right out of the parking lot but the cops held the traffic at the intersection I was at for a half hour to let the pedestrians go. I was so mad. Haha.

I slept until four then next day, and then we went out to the park with Maw Maw and Paw Paw and Aunt Michelle and Missy. I rode the carousel with the kids and a little roller coaster with Jacob, the entire time he looked stricken and was like whining that it was bad and scary, but when we got off he was going on about how much he loved it. I rode the tea cups with Olivia, and she kept telling me to stop spinning it, but it spun even when I wasn't doing it. We all rode the train around the perimeter of the park and Ms. Bonnie pointed out where Danielle and Darren's wedding reception was, which I remembered/recognized when she said that.

We had pizza after, and as soon as Ms. Bonnie finished telling everyone not to get anything on her table cloth, Missy dumped her Coke, all over the table, all over me just like Carrie, all over the rug and the floor. Everyone was laughing, and Missy could hardly breathe she was laughing so hard.

xoxo, Travvy

Yes, We Are on a First Name Basis

I need everyone's measurements. Danielle just left for Memphis, for her first week of the two weeks of her training. Darren is leaving tomorrow, and I will be alone with the kids... I called Donatella. (That is Ms. Versace to you mere mortals.) She is prepared to make custom designs for the services, as you know she made the Jacksons outfits for MJ's funeral, in the event that the children do me in.

I know I cut my story off because Olivia kamikaze-ed off the couch and the coffee table broke her fall via her head and then I never came back to it. Olivia is fine, she had two big lumps and a dent, but she recovered quickly, despite Jacob giving her a third lump with his lightsaber the next day. I will pick up with that and the original story, probably later today. And the story of New Year's Eve in New Orleans. My computer battery is on the way out, and even though I could easily just go get the charge cord I just don't feel like blogging right this second, so like I said, I will fill you in later.

Oh, by the way, how do you like my new banner? I have another "God Save the Queen" one too, but I went with this one. Chances are you'll see the other one at some point. Its clever doncha think? A little pun. And you know I'll need help this week and next... (nervous laugh) ha.

xoxo, Travvy