Kidnapping and Costume Changes

It is simply amazing to me how Jacob can't get dressed by himself in the morning, yet magically is wearing a new outfit anytime I turn my back on him. I don't help the kids in the morning really anymore, Danielle took over and they are for the most part ready by the time I wake up. And it's not really a new outfit, it's always pajamas, but he changes into different sets. I swear, he changes more times a day than Cher and I combined!

Danielle went off on a girls' night out so I made chili for dinner. I discovered when browning meat, it is advantageous to have a light on so that you can see the color. Haha. I had Barbra Streisand on while I was cooking, and after the kids were served, I was just standing in the kitchen eating. When Jacob finished eating, he came in and asked if he could have some gummy Krabby Patties. I didn't answer, I was mid-song, belting out along with Babs to a duet with Celine Dion, Tell Him. Instead of responding, I just turned and was singing to, or more like at him. Bringing new meaning to the term domestic diva. You should have seen the face he gave me, it was sooooo funny. I gave him some, and then called Olivia in to get hers. I held it behind my back and was telling her to pick a hand. I kept saying, "Pick a hand," and she was just like, "What?" Finally she just went around behind me and took it, she didn't get the concept, haha.

We had a play date with Amanda and Barrett this afternoon. I am going to steal him. Haha. Just joshin' ya, Amanda. Maybe. Danielle came over when she got home from work. And we were talking about my earlier post about Popses. I know its hard, and not like I was putting him down, it was just frustrating. Also I told Amanda about how I tried on those Sketchers Shape-Ups the other day at DSW. The ones that have a big sole and it's not flat, its like rounded and they are supposed to give you a workout by just walking. I said that they seem to me like a shoe a person would wear if they had one short leg. That sounds bad, I know, but Amanda and Danielle were my test audience and they agreed. And laughed. So if you have grievances, forward them to them. I'm not making fun of these people, or their shoes, just the shoes I was trying on.

BREAKING NEWS: This blog was just interrupted by Jacob coming out into the living room, where I am currently seated on the sofa, pants around his ankles, telling me, "Travis, I put too much toilet paper in the potty!" And I was like, "Is it overflowing?!" and he said, "Um, yes." So I was like Aaaah! It wasn't overflowing luckily, but I still had to plunge it. Ugh.

Back to the Popses thing, well relating to it, but not that part, the part of Jacob calling me Travvy. I forgot another part of it in the last post. Its not that he's calling me Travvy, which wouldn't bother me, but he is putting it in everywhere, where he wouldn't generally use my name. Like at both the beginning and end of a sentence. "Travvy, blah blah blah blah blah, Travvy!"

Catherine is coming over later for Runway.

Don't you love that one word paragraph, that isn't really worth it? Kinda like this one saying that about the previous paragraph, but now this paragraph has two sentences.

xoxo, Travvy

Banging my head against the wall...

...trying to learn Jacob to talk good. Ugh.

Olivia and Jacob went to Uncle Danny and Aunt Betty's over the weekend. The other day on the way home from school, they were in the back seat pretending to be characters from the Care Bears, must watched some of Aunt Michelle's movies. The villain's name is Shrieky, and her sidekick is Beastly. So Jacob was telling Olivia, I'm Streaky, and she said she was Beastly. I corrected him and said it was Shrieky, not Streaky. He got that right from then on. But he keeps telling us that they watched Spiderman. He says, "I watched Spiderman at Popses house!" With a lot of possessives, he makes it a plural that ends in ess. I'm not an English/grammar person so I don't know how to really explain it correctly, but I think you know what I mean.

I took it upon myself on the way home today, when he brought up watching Spiderman at Popses house again, to try to teach him Pop's not Popses. I was drilling it most of the way back, but he still isn't getting it. He will repeat it when I say it, but after a bunch of times going through, "I watched Spiderman at Pop's house," and "Pop's" and repeating it over and over, if I ask, where did you watch Spiderman, he says, "at Popses house." I started getting as sick of hearing myself say it correctly as I was of him saying it wrong to begin with.

He does the same thing with one of the Thomas trains named Dennis. Not with the possessive but just saying it wrong no matter how I try to get him to say it right. At Michaels they have trains, and one of the ones that they have is Dennis. Jacob asked me who it was, and I told him Dennis, and he says Denist. Not like dentist, just Dennis with a "t." I say no, Dennissss, and hiss the ess like a snake, and he doesn't get it. I tell him to say "Ssssssssss" and he does, and "Isssssss" not as in "is" but like at the end of Dennis, and he does that, but as soon as I add the Denn-isssss, he says Denist. (I know I am talking about grammar and that there should probably be quotations around more of this but I can't keep up with it, just bear with me.) (I just looked up "bear with me, to see which form of the word "bear" you use, I have never written it, not that I use it talking either, but... haha. It said '"Bear with me," the standard expression, is a request for forbearance or patience. "Bare with me" would be an invitation to undress.' Ooh la la.)

Jacob has also taken, I noticed, to all of a sudden addressing me as Travvy. Which is fine, but I just found it odd, because he never has before, and lately uses it more than anything else.

We went to the park yesterday, and Olivia was calling me Cousin Travis. And then she asked me, "Travis, are you my cousin?" and I said yes, and she said, "And Daddy is my husband," I don't remember if that was a statement or a question, haha. But I said, "No, Daddy is your Daddy."

Also at the park, they have one of those, well I don't know what to call it. Its not a ladder, because its not straight up and down, and its not really a bridge, though I guess it could be, it goes up on an incline, made of tires, with wooden railings and you climb up it to get to the top of the equipment. I don't know. If I think of it, next time I'll take a picture and post it on here. It occurred to me to take a picture at the time, but I thought the rescue took precedence over nostalgia. Olivia was climbing up, and at the topmost tire, one of her legs went through the hole, and her other leg was on the outside of the tire. So from shoulders up, and left knee up, she was on top of the tire, and the rest of her was inside and dangling underneath. She was having a fit and crying, she wasn't hurt, just scared. So I pulled her out. Over dinner I told her to tell Danielle about it, and Danielle asked her if I was laughing at her. She said yes, and I was scolded. And then Danielle was laughing about it, so I was like "Oh sure, you can laugh."

xoxo, Travvy

Mardi Gras: the much awaited conclusion

Ooooh the suspense! I hope I didn't lose anyone! Like the saying, "the suspense is killing me." Assuming everyone lived, or didn't just lose interest since I drug it out exaggeratedly long. Sorry. But here we go, I'm back. Now, where were we? Ah yes...

"You know you're in Metairie right? And they're gonna beat the f#@%iNg S*&t out of you." I don't know what I said, if anything. I think I just laughed. To recap, here I am, cascading blonde hair, Danielle's tiny Saints jersey, and my new black and gold skirt I turned out in 2 days. I had posted pictures on here from when I dressed up for the Superbowl, same costume. But this time, with the addition of my oversize aviators. So off on my merry way, sashaying across the street to the parade route. I couldn't see Danielle at first, but she turned around and got my attention. She was standing up on the back of the ladder. As soon as I got there, this guy started going on about my costume and wanted to get a picture with me. He had on a purple dress and this hideous mask. Not a drag queen, just a costume, this old guy and his wife, she wasn't dressed up or anything though. They loved my outfit. Jacob wanted to go back soon after I got there, and Danielle took him to the house for a nap. Gen was there with her kids, and so it was Olivia and us. Olivia started having a fit after Danielle left, and finally went bizerk. I climbed the ladder (while trying to make sure to hold my skirt against my thighs with my hand under my bum, so nobody would be looking up) and handed her down to Gen, then I was holding her trying to get her to calm down. The old woman of the purple dress couple came up to me, and she was like, "Oh my husband thought you were gay!" I said, "I am, this isn't my daughter!" and she was like "Ohhh, that's okay, we love 'em all!" Haha. Olivia was having none of it, so I asked Gen to watch the stuff, and headed back with her in search of Mommy. She was on her way out of the house with a sandwich for Olivia, and we met like halfway down the block. Olivia was happy again, and she and Danielle headed back, I ran back to the house to grab a can of soda first.

I was sort of hanging back toward the curb, by the ladder, but Danielle said that I had to get out further into the street up at the front and get noticed. So I did, but I was still kind of reserved. This girl was standing next to me, and she asked, "How are you not getting more beads?" And then she gave me a strand of hers from around her neck.

I started catching more then, and at some point I gave that girl a string I caught. More people came up to me and asked for photos. Gen said I was "the popular cheerleader." The more attention I was getting the more I started to come out of my shell and let my hair down. It wasn't pulled up to begin with, just an expression. Haha. I liked playing with it, I kept pulling it back and to the side, over my shoulder.

At one point I started doing my booty-popping drop down into a squat dance, which sounds terrible, but I don't know how to describe it haha. There was a DJ behind us, and the floats had music too. I hadn't practiced dancing in my skirt, and I wasn't sure what I could get away with without putting on more of a show than I intended... Haha. I would have been alright in any case, I had on undies, then pantyhose, and then another pair of unders outside the stockings like spanky pants haha. But still this woman that was standing by us told me, "Better be careful someone is gonna see ya draws."

There was this rowdy bunch to the left of us, young girls probably around my age. At some point Ms. Bonnie came and she brought a stool. Originally for her to sit on, but she offered it to me to stand on. So I did. A couple of the girls were standing on this bench, and I was next to them. This blonde started talking to me, and she was like, "Are you a cheerleader?" Yeah, "What's your name?" I said, "Oh, whatever you want it to be!" Haha, during the Superbowl I was sitting next to Dave from nextdoor at one point, and he asked me that, but I was so caught off guard that I didn't think of that reply. She asked me to do a cheer for her, and I was like, "Well I left my pom-poms at home," and she said "That's okay, I don't care," and was insisting on a cheer, but I couldn't think of anything on the spot.

I was piling on the beads and getting so much stuff. I got a pair of red plush dice that are now on my rearview mirror, haha. I was given a white boa! Haha. Early on, someone had given me this bag full of these hot pink feathers, and I thought it looked like a bag of loose feathers that you get at a craft store, so I was like, okay... and just put it in the bag. Danielle opened it later, and here it's this boa type thing, or like a collar. Its all connected not loose ends like a boa. My rescuer from the night before, after I headed the wrong way from the taxi, gave me a green, purple and gold Mardi Gras boa too, and someone tossed me a lacey white garter haha. When I was slipping it up my leg Ms. Bonnie said to be careful not to flash haha.

There were people across the street from me, two guys and a girl, they could see me in the gaps between floats. I think that she came over first, and maybe one of them, to get her picture with me, and then I went to their side to take one with the boys.

A guy in the crowd from the opposite side of the street threw me beads, haha. Gen commented again about my social coup, and asked, "I bet you never thought you'd be the popular cheerleader," and I brought it up another time, "Yeah, but what's a popular cheerleader without her handsome quarterback boyfriend?" Haha. Maybe next year I'll be the Homecoming Queen.

I got mixed reviews but all of them were good, even the negative ones. Haha. Because that makes sense. I was hamming it up to the max, waving and posing and blowing kisses. I was a big hit. The ladies thought it was pretty fantastic, but it was the guys that surprised me somewhat. More good sports than you might expect. Some of the older men returned air kisses which was a scream, and its hard to say what reaction I enjoyed more from the young guys. Appreciating and laughing or ranging from uncomfortable to disgusted haha. All in good fun. Gen said that a lot of guys probably wish they had the balls to wear a skirt, and Danielle said that a lot probably liked it more than they may care to admit. I got an incredible amount of beads and other stuff, this bumpy pink football, its like "nubbins" all over it hahahaha. The crown jewel (I did get beads that has a big gold, metal crown pendant, but not what I mean) is this necklace of huge beads, the size of my fist. I got this one that has skulls on the necklace, and this skeleton pendant at the bottom with a top hat and a sign that says New Orleans. I just threw all my loot into my duffel bag for the trip home, and this skelton necklace didn't survive. His neck snapped, so its just the top hatted skull on the beads, but I can easily glue it. On one float that was getting a kick out of my ensemble, a man and woman were fawning over me, and they got the attention of the other woman next to them, the float was passing by that point, and the second woman shouted, "IS THAT A GUY!?!??!" and I was laughing and nodding. She produced this enormous mass of beads, I would say handful, but she had to use both hands, and tried to throw it sideways my way. But there was this girl standing between us with her back turned, and the pile hit her!

There were people across the street catty corner, and they were taking pictures of me, so in a gap between floats I bopped over to them I took pictures with them, and they had me take pictures with other people in their crew. Back in my spot, I was standing up on the stool and this guy came up next to me from behind. He wanted to give me beads but I wasn't sure what was going on, I couldn't hear him and I was precariously up on the stool trying to turn to him but not move my legs. He dropped his beer and it sprayed up my leg when it fell, and he was like, "Aw I spilled my beer now, you gotta take my beads."

The whole thing was so much fun. People were taking pictures with me all the way back to the house. This guy crossing Vets in front of us was talking to me, and he told me to say, "My name is Ivana, Ivana Humpalot," in this quasi-Russian accent, he was so funny, but I didn't say it. She's a character from one of the Austin Powers movies haha. Oh I don't know how to wrap it up, I think I shared the most notable exchanges and happenings, hopefully the conclusion was worth the wait. Olivia is wanting to come out, I didn't take notice of what time it was when I put them down, but I'm thinking she wasn't in there for an hour. Ugh, back later maybe with more adventures. If not tomorrow. I don't want to continue posting so randomly with days and days in between.

xoxo, Travvy

Mardi Gras: A Cautionary Tale

I chose this title, on about my twelfth lap, walking around Jackson Square early Tuesday morning, trying to sober up...

Danielle and the kids left for Darren's parents' sometime Saturday morning. I took Amber over to Catherine and Adam's house. Then Darren and I left. Danielle had ordered a cake for Olivia's New Orleans birthday party, and had to pick it up for noon, and Darren had to work this week, so that is why we drove separately and Danielle left earlier. On the way, I was knitting, we listened to REM which was okay, but then we listened to The Art of Noise, which I really liked. Then I fell asleep. At some point I awoke, and we went to Lee's Hamburgers for lunch. Darren said Danielle would be jealous. She called and said that there was traffic or something, and that we should come a different way, so we took the 24-mile Causeway bridge across Lake Pontchartrain. We eventually made it.

Olivia wanted a Star Wars birthday, so Danielle got her a cake that had Luke and Darth Vader figures on top, that have buttons on their backs that when you press them make their lightsabers light up. The cake had blue icing, which stained everyone's mouths. Jacob had it the worst, it was all over. Olivia had some on her hand and ended up smearing it on her forehead. The only one who didn't get the blue mouth was Ms. Bonnie, because she didn't eat the icing when she saw everyone else.

Ms. Bonnie and Danielle went out and got a ladder. Its a ladder with a seat built on top, for the kids to sit in so that they can see the parade over the crowd, and you don't have to hold them on your shoulders. Saturday night we went to see the Endymion parade. We had to find parking and accidentally went the wrong way up a one way street. It was more like an alley. There was a parking lot that we pulled into, and we ended up parking there, but Danielle had to back out so she could pull in straight. We had Mr. Dave's pick-up truck. There was a lot of traffic so Ms. Bonnie said I should jump out and hold them up so that Danielle could back up. So I did. I just walked out into the middle with my back turned, so if they were yelling or having any kind of reaction I couldn't see, haha. We found a spot on a corner and set up the ladder. Ms. Bonnie said that what you have to do to get in front, is just walk down the street on the parade route, and when it comes they push you to the side, and you have to be in the front and everyone has to make room. She and I did walk down a ways, and then back past where Danielle, Darren and the kids were. We returned before the parade arrived. Then we did end up going down to the front. I caught some beads which I kept, and the rest were ones that I just picked up to give the kids. I ended up catching 4 strands. The beads come in bunches packed in plastic bags, and some people on the floats were just throwing the unopened bags. I picked up one of those and put it in my hoodie pocket. The ones that I had caught, I wore but I moved them to the inside of my sweatshirt. I think one guy thought I had none at all since I had hidden them, and he produced one of the bags full over the side. He gestured to me, so I put my arms out to catch it, but it hit me right in the face! Everyone in the parade was wearing masks, but he was gesturing to make sure I was alright. It didn't hurt, more surprising than anything, and it made for a good experience to remember and share, haha. Endymion is in Mid-City and its supposed to be family-oriented. But some trash standing near me and Ms. Bonnie paid no mind to that. She was flashing. Or really just had her shirt pulled down, and just showing, she wasn't flashing then covering back up, she was just exposed. Ms. Bonnie almost got into a fight. Some other trashy girl was trying to shove past her, and then cussed her out.

We had gotten to the parade around 3:30-4ish, and the sun was out. I was wearing a hoodie and my coat, and in the parking lot I was hot, so I took my coat off and put it in Danielle's trunk, I didn't want to have to hold it all night. Danielle, Ms. Bonnie and I had come in Mr. Dave's truck, and Darren and the kids had Danielle's car. Well it got very chilly after sunset and as the parade went on. Eventually we left the front to rejoin the others, but it was only Danielle. Darren took the kids back, and my coat!

Saturday night Danielle dropped me off downtown, I went to the French Quarter and down Bourbon Street. It was navigable, but more a lot crowded than I had seen it. The most congested areas were around the balconies/galleries, from which people were throwing beads. In those areas, not only were there people staring up and trying to catch beads, there were all these people picketing and preaching, clogging up the street even more. I was bemused by being handed a religious pamphlet on New Year's Eve, but it was more of a hassle this time, because it was at like every intersection. I didn't go into any of the bars on Bourbon that night. I went back to Decatur to this bar that the Marine had taken me to when I was in New Orleans with Danielle over the summer, before I was on the payroll and hung out with her because I wanted to. (Just kidding Danielle!) I hung out there for a while, and I saw the bartender from my Marine date. I didn't say anything at first, she wasn't working, she was just hanging out. Eventually I decided to say something, so I yelled "Molly!" She clearly didn't remember me, I would hardly expect her to, but I tried to remind her. "Remember, my cousin's name is Molly and you were happy I didn't say it was my dog's name," and she said "Yeah, everyone says 'that's dog's name,'" but she still didn't remember hahaha.

Sunday Danielle and I went to the mall. We went to Restoration Hardware (one of my fave store's, I'll be furnishing my place from there,) Pottery Barn and Pottery Barn Kids, J. Crew, and Coach. Oh and of course Macy*s, because there isn't one nearby us here. While we were in Macy*s, they came over the P.A. and said that the mall would be closing at four not six, because of the parade. So we left, and Danielle took me to get a drive-thru daiquiri. I got a large which was huge. There was a parade right down the street from Darren's parents house Sunday night, Napoleon. We didn't take the ladder, the kids just ran around which especially Jacob loved. And Darren and I took turns holding one or the other of the kids on our shoulders when floats came. Danielle and I were having Olivia dance. She has this dance where she like kicks, so Danielle and I were doing it too, and Darren said that we are terrible. We weren't making fun of her though, we were dancing with her, not at her, haha. I opted not to go down to the Quarter that night.

Monday was Lundi Gras. We went to Oschner, the hospital she used to work for in the Internal Auditing dept. to meet up with her friend Gen for lunch. We went up first to see her old coworkers. The kids were bouncing off the walls and yelling and jumping off furniture in the office. We had lunch with Gen in the cafeteria and then went on a sort of tour through the hospital to Gen's office in Security. Then we went back and it was the kids nap time and Danielle and I went downtown. We went to the French Market, and before that in some shops and boutiques along the way by Cafe Du Monde. We went into one store, because in the window they had these mermen ornaments that we thought I might need. They had a doctor and a football player and one with a collar and bow tie and shirt cuffs (no shirt haha.) Inside they had a fireman and a cop one. I didn't end up getting one, I decided maybe at a later date, and I can coordinate it with my beau's profession haha. But in that store they were selling the Mardi Gras poster for this year, and the artist was there signing them. I got one of those. (And proceeded to whine the entire rest of the day about having to carry it.) We went to Cafe Maspero for lunch. Well Danielle got lunch, red beans and rice, I got an order of fries and a daiquiri. And then another. Haha. We were finished just in time to go back across the street to the Riverwalk, where Zulu was about to arrive. Each parade has a king, and Zulu and Rex are two of the biggies. (Parades and Kings.) They come in on Coast Guard boats and meet by the river and have a ceremony, which I'll get to. We saw the boat coming and went to where it was docking, we were right up at the front, just by luck. So we watched Zulu and the court disembark, (and the cute Coast Guardsmen.) I handed Danielle my poster and had to make a mad dash to find a potty, after my two big daiquiris haha. I was pretty mad that I had to miss it, but I decided better that than wet pants. I went to the Riverwalk Mall, which was far far away! When I finally made it inside, the bathroom was far far away too. Ugh. Danielle and I played phone tag, my phone had been silenced so I missed 2 of her calls and then we couldn't catch each other but finally did, and then we found each other in person again. It turned out I hadn't missed anything, or at least not what I thought I had. They just got off the boat which I saw, and Ludacris was there. So I didn't get to see him, but the ceremony hadn't happened yet, Rex comes an hour or two later. So I was happy about that. Danielle had to go to the bathroom then, so we went back to the mall. We were walking back to the area where Rex would be coming, and doing Olivia's dance. There was this horn noise, and so I held up my poster tube and pretended to blow a horn. Here, there were cars behind us. It wasn't a street, but it was a motorcade, so they were back there, and it was a car horn honking at us, while meanwhile, not only are we not moving out of the way, we are taking our good old time and doing Olivia's kicking dance. Hahaha. We ended up coming right upon the spot were the boat with Rex was going to dock. And once again, we were right in the front! Perfect view. The ship docked and I heard people talking about Laura Bush being there. I was like, yeah right, and was just looking at the Coast Guard boys. But then, sure enough, I could see the Former First Lady on the boat! So I pointed her out to Danielle and we were very excited. The Coast Guard lined up and their was Secret Service there and then the barricade in front of us, so once she got past the gang plank we couldn't see her that well. We didn't get to meet her or anything, but it was still exciting. They didn't announce she was there, she talked to some reporters and that's where we left her to go see Rex and Zulu meet. She wasn't part of the ceremony. They meet up, and the mayor is there, and Tuesday is proclaimed a holiday, and all the laws are suspended, and the mayor gave Rex the key to the city because he's in charge through Tuesday. Then there were fireworks and we headed to the car.

Ms. Bonnie got po-boys for dinner, and everyone had eaten when we got back. Darren was saying how he had eaten too much, and at that point I had only eaten half of my sandwich. I ate the other half anyway, and I was feeling stuffed too, bleh. There was another parade that night down the street on Veteran's Boulevard, Zeus. We got yet more beads and some stuffed animals. I forget whether the stuffed animals we got where at Napoleon or Zeus, but I got a little beanie elephant, it landed on the ground, which I kept, and I caught a pound puppy which I gave to Olivia. Or one of them, its not a favorite, but it made it home, I saw it on the floor earlier. Jacob got a big snake, and Olivia got a dolphin/whale thing. At one point I had Jacob on my shoulders and someone threw a teddy bear, I caught that. They probably threw it for him, but I kept it, and he doesn't notice or care. Olivia had some little Snoopy, which when we were leaving yesterday Danielle bid me hide, "it's not coming home with us." Haha. She doesn't miss it, if she even remembers it at all. I was debating whether or not to just stay that night rather than return with Danielle, but I had a good time at the parade, so I'm glad I did.

Darren took me back later that evening.

He dropped me off and I headed down to Bourbon Street. He thought I should or would want to check out the Oz. I didn't end up going though. There were no lines when I first got down there, but I just didn't want to. I feel less weird about being out by myself down in New Orleans than going to the club back home by myself, but I just didn't want to go in to the gay clubs for whatever reason. I went down to the Cat's Meow instead, where they have karaoke. I went back out into the street for a while, and just stood under a gallery people watching for a while. There was a small group of people in front of me under there for a little bit, I was back against the building and they were more towards the curb. When they were leaving this girl bumped into me. When they had just been standing there I had noticed her dress. She apologized and I said it was okay and that I liked her dress, and she said thanks and that I was pretty. Haha, aw. I decided to head back to the Cat's Meow, and just as I stepped off the curb, I think someone had just spit off the gallery and it got in my hair. They didn't spit on me, they had just spit and I walked under it I'm fairly sure. Still, ew.

At the bar another girl started talking to me. Her name was Ashley and we did a Jell-o shot. I hate Jell-o, but. Later, Danielle said I was supposed to be buying shots for boys, not girls. But no boys talked to me. So she said well did you talk to any boys? And I said no, but they weren't talking to me. Besides, they are supposed to be buying me drinks, not me them. Duh.

I made my way back out to Jackson Square. I mentioned how I just walked around the perimeter again and again. Then down Decatur, and off some cross street I hailed a cab. I told him to the intersection to drop me at out in Metairie. When I got there, he let me out in the middle of the block between two streets, so I was walking to the corner to read the street sign. I was going the wrong direction, but the Milner's neighbor was out there, and she called after me and directed me to the house. Haha. I didn't hear or don't remember this part, but she called me Shortcake, because she couldn't remember my name. So Danielle took to calling me that all yesterday, but she preferred Sugarcake. Danielle and I were sharing a room with two inflatable beds. They weren't mattresses they were actual beds, bed level off the ground, not laying on the floor. So Danielle said that she heard me attempt to get in and fall off several times. I think it was once I sat too close to the edge and slipped off. Maybe more, I don't know, but I wasn't that out of it.

Tuesday. Mardi Gras! Danielle woke me up because she was going to clean up the room we had been sleeping in. I didn't really wake up, they just had me move to Jacob's bed in the office. Then I woke up for real, and Danielle and the kids were already down at the parade. Gen and her kids were there too. I headed out, and Ms. Bonnie asked if I wasn't going to dress up in my costume. I said no, and she asked if I was chickening out? I guessed so, and started down the block. I turned around because I decided I had to wear it, I made it for this occasion. It was really to wear down into the Quarter, but there was no way I was going back. I had said to Darren on the way there the night before, that I should just have worn it that night and stayed out all night and into Tuesday. He said oh God that I'd come back pregnant.

I just threw it on. Didn't shave my face. Tisk Tisk. But I was glad I decided to wear it after all. I took pictures with Mr. Dave, and was back on my way again, take two. This couple was walking down the street as well, and the woman asked me if I'm really a friend of Dorothy or if I was just dressed like that. I had heard "Friend of Dorothy" before, but didn't know what it means. On a cruise, there was a Friends of Dorothy LGBT thing at one of the bars, and Mom, Logan, Kyle and I didn't know if it was Dorothy Gale as in the Wizard of Oz, or if Dorothy was someone. So I told her I didn't know what that meant, and she said oh, then you're not. But she explained it is the Wizard of Oz and it means you're gay, and so we got that "straightened" out. So then she said, "You know you're in Metairie right, and they're gonna beat the (effing) (ess) out of you."

to be continued...

been slackin the past two weeks, packing for NOLA and Mardi Gras, back Tuesday, your regulary scheduled program will return Wed, promise. i know i tend to say that, but i really will get back into the swing. k bye

xoxo, Travvy

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mother's birthday! I didn't post on Olivia's birthday, so Happy Belated Birthday to Olivia, she turned 5 on Tuesday. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I just found out on Myspace that Alexander McQueen died. :[

Today we took Olivia to school and went to Wal*Mart. We ran into Ms. Edna, the neighbor from across the street. I took Jacob to get his haircut. The stylist who usually does his hair, Ms. Patricia had off today, apparently. So he got his hair did by this guy. He gave me a card, his name is Eddie. When we were leaving, Eddie was telling Jacob to come back, and to tell me that he (Jacob) want's to come back to see him (Eddie). Great, so now what happens one day when I take him in and both of them are working at the same time?

Jacob wanted to go home after he got his haircut. Its only around the corner, and we still had an hour before we had to pick up Olivia, so I decided we'd just go home. Jacob was asking if we were going to watch a movie, and I said no, that we weren't going to watch TV. So when I parked in the driveway, Jacob said, "Were you just kidding? Do you wanna watch Thomas?" I laughed, but we still didn't watch it.

So I made that stuffed "Gir" for Olivia for her birthday. Bad move. She saw it Monday night, before I was finished, it was a body and severed head. Well I guess its not severed if it was never attached. But she went crazy for it, and was all excited. I finished it after she was in bed, so I gave it to her Tuesday morning. She was beside herself. So far so good. But... The kids are always showing things to people when they come over. Like Amanda, she comes over all the time, but every time, its like she's never been here. Jacob's like, "Do you want to see my trains!?" and showing her Thomas movies. They started showing Gir all there stuff. As if he was real, and their guest. At first it was nothing, but they kept doing it forever. They talk to him and Olivia talks for him in a Gir-esque voice. She affects voices when she pretends she is someone else, different from her real voice, but the fake ones all sound pretty much the same as each other, haha. I'm glad she likes it, but the two of them were so excited it was getting annoying.

Who could have forseen this. Jacob is all about Olivia's Gir. Its causing problems. He always wants to play with it and Olivia has a huge fit. Even though it was supposed to be special for Olivia's birthday, I told Jacob that I would make him an Invader Zim. I keep telling him, "Not today," but he's not letting up. I guess I'll have to make it sooner rather than later. It shouldn't be that hard, I just don't feel like it.

Olivia had therapy with Katie on Tuesday. I brought the kids home from school, and made lunch and put them down for naps. Jacob was being bad, and not taking his nap. Therapy was at Katie's house, I thought at 3:30. When it was time to leave at 3, of course now Jacob was fast asleep. I had to wake him up and he was terrible! When we were on our way there, Danielle called, and here I had the time wrong, we were supposed to be there at 3. So I had an evil kid on my hands because I woke him up for no reason and he didn't have a good nap. We rescheduled for Wednesday. When we got back I tried to make him take a nap again, because he was being whiny and really bad. But it wasn't happening. Eventually he got better.

Jacob and I went to Toys "R" Us the other day and there were no trains on the train track. I just remembered something worth while to share, instead. That was really all to say about that anyway.

On Super Bowl Sunday, my tongue ring fell out! Somehow one of the balls came unscrewed from the end of the barbell and I think I must have swallowed it. I realized it happened because I felt the bar in my mouth. My first thought was that the hole tore threw like an earring can. I would have definitely felt that I'm sure, but it was just what came to mind. I spit it out and looked in the mirror. My tongue was intact, and I discovered the ball was missing. I was worried that the hole would heal up with nothing there, because it heals fast. But it was 5:30 on Sunday, so the mall was going to be closed and I couldn't replace it. The consensus of my friends was that by the morning I should still be fine, and I was.

It's supposed to snow, so Olivia may have no school tomorrow. I'll let you know.

xoxo, Travvy

Who Dat?!

Saints won! I was a cheerleader. Made my own skirt, no pattern just winged it. Also Olivia's birthday present, (she's 5 tomorrow), Gir, from the cartoon Invader Zim. Again, no pattern, just made it up as I went along.

xoxo, Travvy

Northern Exposure

Danielle and I went shopping last night for shoes to go with her new dress. We went to DSW, but nothing really suited us. She wanted something black and really strappy, but hates slingbacks. I said we should go look in Clearance, but Danielle said that she thought there would only be winter shoes back there. We went back anyway. We found a pair of mules that she liked. She thought they might be too big, so we went to see if they had them in a smaller size. They did, but she thought they were still too big. We went to see if they had them in the next smaller size, but they didnt. So we returned to find the second pair she tried on, but we couldn't find them! She was wondering who "stole" them, and I was looking, but I didn't see anyone else carrying them. Not as though if I had, anything would have happened, probably just told Danielle and we'd give her the evil eye. Haha. The original pair was still there, so she decided she'd get those, but she said that she liked the smaller ones better. We looked some more, and eventually Danielle did find the second pair. As it turns out, they were the same size as the first pair all along. We went to the checkout, and they ended up being only ten dollars! In the parking lot, I twirled a lock of my hair in my fingers and said, "I think there's only winter shoes in Clearance."

We went to Belk to find her a new swimsuit. I picked out some, and Danielle picked some out. I vetoed some of her choices before she tried them on. Haha. I don't remember how many she ended up trying on. We went through a lot. I didn't like most of them because there was too much decolletage for my taste. She said something about, why should she take advice from me on cleavage. As I am not exactly the target audience. Haha. I don't think she nixed any just because of my opinion, she didn't like them either. She found two that we liked, but she ended up trying on some more. I picked out this little navy blue and yellow Nautica number. Ding ding ding, we have a winner. It also ended up being the cheapest one she tried on. I'm Danielle's lucky shopping charm she says. Now we have to find a cover up, Belk had ugly ones. Haha.

We went to Cheddars for dinner. We sat in the bar, because it was first come first serve, and Danielle saw a table when we first walked in, so we didn't have to wait. We got burgers, and I ordered a margarita. Danielle's silverware had a hair on it. My margarita took forever to come, I didn't think anything of it until the waitress came and said something. She said she was standing there waiting for it for the longest time, until they finally told her that they didn't have the glass to put it in, so she went and got it, and she'd bring it out soon. When she did bring it, there was a hair on my straw. Rather than wait forever for another drink, I just used my water straw. We got separate checks, but she ended up putting them both on my card by mistake. Haha. Oh Cheddars.

xoxo, Travvy

Miscommunication

I was up all hours last night, though I didn't bother to blog. I had breakfast in bed. Well, I was watching Breakfast on Pluto in bed. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. So that there is no confusion, it is not a comedy. When I had Danielle and Darren watch Party Monster, Darren had asked if it was a comedy and I said it was. I was focusing soley on the humorous parts I guess, and led them astray. Its not really a comedy, its in the Drama section, which I found out when I was shopping for it. I was in the comedies and I asked someone if they had it, and they were like, "Well, it would be in Drama..." Oops. So Breakfast on Pluto and Party Monster are not comedies. That wasn't the miscommunication I refer to in the title, just a misunderustanding.

Danielle went out on a girl's night with the Mom's Club, so I took the kiddies to Frisco Deli. The same people are always working when we go. The cashier girl asked me about, something about the whole family didn't wanna come tonight? So I said no, that "Dad is out of town and Mom is on a girl's night out." So she probably took it as me meaning my parents like the kids are my siblings. I didn't bother to correct any misconceptions, I don't care. I should have said, "Dad is out of town and Mom's on a date." Though I didn't think of it until I was bathing the children. Danielle told them she had a date with Ms. Amanda, so Olivia said something about date, and that made me think of it. As long as I was misleading the Frisco Deli people, I should have made it something of a scandal. Oh well, missed opportunity.

Jacob had a fit about taking a bath. And then I knocked the shampoo bottle of the shelf and it hit him on the shoulder, sparking more drama (not comedy.) I was perched on the toilet while I was giving them a bath, and after the shampoo bottle fell into the tub I was trying to reach for it. My feet slipped on the wet floor and I fell off the potty and smacked my forearm on the edge of the tub, and then landed all my weight on it. Ouch.

Nothing happened yesterday to blog about. That would be why I didn't blog yesterday. We went on a walk with Amanda and Barrett and they played over here for a bit, and that was about it.

Catherine is coming over to watch Runway.

xoxo, Travvy

A Day in the Freaking Life

Today was so crazy! I imagine that in the theatrical version, this morning will be a montage in black and white, on fast forward, with exaggerated gestures and arm flailing like in the old black and white movies before "talkies," complete with the cards being shown for what people are saying, and set to a techno remix of Flight of the Bumblebee.

I had consulted Facebook last week to see if anyone knew how to open the taillight of my car so that I could replace the turn signal bulb. The general consensus was that I should take it to Autozone. My cousin Tyler said a sledge hammer, which I declared was not helpful, thank you very much. Though as the morning went on, I started thinking it may not be such a bad idea after all... After we dropped Olivia at school, I took Jacob to Autozone. I already had bought the bulbs at Wal*Mart, but I needed to get them from Autozone for them to put it in for me. Okay whatever. Well Bubba down at Autozone was no better at it than I was. He couldn't get the thing off either. Gee thanks, jerk. The only good thing was that I found where to screw that piece back on that I took off and couldn't find where it came from later. Good thing I didn't have to ask ole Dumb as a Rock. So I went all the way across town to this tire place that Danielle had taken her car to one time. This place is all the way down past Danielle and Darren's. On 51, there were cops in the middle of the street, stopping all the cars, and there were a bunch of cars pulled over on the sides of the road. I thought there was an accident, but it turns out the Po-Po were stopping everyone to check for Driver's Licenses. I guess the people pulled over didn't have them... I didn't realize it was a tire place until I got there, but I gave it a shot anyway. The guy there told me that they would be able to do it, but not right now because they were swamped. "Try Autozone." Pfft. He also suggested Advance Auto Parts. So we trucked back there, which was between Autozone and where we were now, but closer to Autozone, pretty far out. Ugh. Went through the police checkpoint again... So we get there, and I'm told that they don't do that, only wiper blades and batteries. Grr. When we got back in the car, I turned off the CD and switched it to the radio. The song, Before He Cheats, by Carrie Underwood was on. She was giving me good ideas of what I should do to the stinking car haha. I was already contemplating driving it out into a field and running away, or driving it out into the field and shooting it. Replacing the turn signal bulb with a stick of dynamite crossed my mind. The song, ("...Louisville Slugger to both headlights...") mixed with Tyler's sledge hammer suggestion, and my own field ideas, made me think of the movie Office Space, where they take the fax machine that is always being a pain into the middle of a field and smash it to oblivion. I'm really not violent, I promise, I was just frustrated haha. I went to yet another place, Valvoline, yet farther up 51 past Autozone. Finally, they were able to help me! Yay! Ten dollars and unforetold gas and car mileage later.

So the turn signal now works, and my wiper blades are taken care of. The only other grievance I have about my car is with my speakers. The two up front don't work, but that is more of a nuisance, not a priority for safety or anything. I don't think they are blown out, which is possible, but sometimes they randomly pop on. It started with the passenger side up front, and I never knew it wasn't working until it would come back on. Now neither of the front speakers work. I faded the sound to the front only the other day to check, because it seemed like I couldn't hear the music very well, and nothing came out. Michelle was saying to me, when I was asking for turn signal advice, that maybe it wasn't the bulb, that it could be a fuse. It turned out to be the bulb, but I'm thinking it could be fuses with my speakers, since they come on sometimes. So hopefully that's it. Cheaper fix. If the speakers need to be replaced, I will just go without.

Dumb car. When and if I find my fly boy boyfriend, I will get him to buy me a Beetle convertible. Haha. I don't know if I've mentioned him on here before. Probably not. My friend Kate and I came up with a plan. I am on the search for a boyfriend with a private jet, so that she can come visit whenever, and I can go visit Pennsylvania on a whim. Or where ever we please. Maybe he can come, too.

So that was the end of the car calamity. Or so I thought. Duh duh DUN. We returned to Autozone, to return the bulbs to Bubba. Jacob was "very thirsty." He wanted pink lemonade, which they didn't have. He picked out orange soda, which I wasn't sure he was going to drink, but, against my better judgement, got him anyway. I gave it to him when we got in the car. He took a sip, and he was like, "I think this isn't pink lemonade." I told him that before I got it, and said that it was orange soda. "I think this looks very spicy." Which didn't make sense, I guess he meant tastes, and spicy I just don't know. Then he said, "it looks a little orange." "I told you, its orange soda." So he needed something else, and we went to a gas station down the street. They didn't have the elusive pink lemonade either, but he settled for apple juice. I buckled him in and gave it to him. The kids booster seats have cup holders in them, and he put the bottle in it. I told him that I thought it was going to dump, so that he had to hold it in his hands and not put it in the cup holder. The cup holder was bigger around than the bottle, and seemed very precarious. So he held it. Until at some point when he defied me and put it back in the cup holder. I made a turn and the back seat flooded. The whole thing was soaked. Including Olivia's precious plush football, which just as I expected, caused a ruckus when we picked her up.

As I said yesterday, one of Olivia's classmates had a birthday party this afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese. She immediately started her hysterics when I refused her the sopping football, which I just as quickly put the cabosh on by threatening to call Anthony and tell him we would not be coming to his birthday. She doesn't know that I don't have his phone number, which she doesn't know he doesn't have.

So we went to Chuck E. Cheese and played games and the kids had pizza and cake. That's really all there is to say. We had a good time. We didn't leave until twenty after two, far past nap time. Jacob was already beginning to turn on me. I made them take naps when we got home. Or tried. Olivia didn't sleep. Jacob slept for an only an hour. I wasn't sure what taking a nap so late would mean at bedtime, but it was a chance I was willing to take. I would sell Danielle out and just escape this evening if things got hairy, rather than have two little Nightmares on Elm Street on my hands the rest of the day. They were relatively okay. I don't know if Danielle would agree. It seems to me that they just act up on a Tuesday night anyway. I don't know what it is.

Amanda texted me and asked what we were up to. I said the kids were napping, but that Olivia wasn't sleeping anyway, so I might as well let her out of her cage and that Amanda and Barrett could come play. So we hung out with them.

After Olivia's gymnastics, we went to shopping for a dress for Danielle. We found a nice one. Then she got this other one. Just kidding, I was talking about the one she bought when I said we found a nice one. Now comes the extra fun part. Shoes! I said we should wait until this weekend, when we can shop sans children. I will also have to have her put it on and we'll go through her jewels to see how to accessorize it.

That's pretty much it. It all seemed more frantic at the time. I guess you had to have been there.

xoxo, Travvy

The Littlest GaGa Fan

We were on our way back from Target this afternoon and Lady GaGa came on the radio, and Jacob told me to turn it up. Good job, Jacob, good job! We were out shopping for a birthday present, for a party at Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow at lunchtime. Danielle sent me, as if I know what to get a kid. Jacob and Olivia are relatively easy I know what they like, (and what they have,) but someone I don't know? We ended up getting a Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story. I had Olivia choose between him and Woody. I thought the Woody toy was kind of bad anyway, because he didn't have his cowboy hat.

Katie brought Lindsay and Nathan over this afternoon and did therapy with Olivia. That's when I came upon the blog comments I talked about earlier. Luckily he waited until after they left to turn into a wretched little troll. I have a sinking suspicion that he didn't nap today. I knew it was very short, if at all. But now I'm fairly certain it was not at all. I don't know exactly what time I put them down, but he popped his head out at ten after one and said he was going to take one more nap. I heard him making noise after that and went in and he was holding some Animal Bracelets cupped in his hands, Lord of the Rings style, "My Precious." I threw that in for Darren, though that is what it made me think of. I thought they were Olivia's, so I took them away. I think he must have some, because I know hers are like cats and dogs and turtles and bunnies, and these were dinosaur ones. But I would have taken them anyway, because he was supposed to be sleeping. Olivia came out at 2ish, and he wanted to come out too, as soon as she walked out, like he was waiting by the door.

Right now Danielle took the kids to Jacob's gymnastics class, which I guess is Olivia's now too. The first class he wouldn't cooperate, and even though he was excited about it all that day, all he did when we got there was cry and he wouldn't do it. So Olivia did the exercises and whatever, to get him to do it too. She's been taking class with him since. Her own class is Tuesdays, but she didn't have it last week, so I think this week she has it twice.

The stories I forgot about that happened last week. The week I didn't blog. Haha. Olivia had therapy the one day, so Danielle took her to that. I wanted to go to the other Wal*Mart to see if they had my turn signal I needed, but Jacob didn't want to go and was fussing. I bribed him by telling him I'd get him a candy bar. I could always have just made him, but it was easier. Sometimes when we're out while Olivia is in school, I'll get a Snickers bar, and we each have half. This time he wanted a Hershey's bar, and I got a Twix for myself. When I was buckling him in, he was asking me if he could have the whole thing. (Since usually he only gets half.) I wasn't really listening to him, I was trying to get him buckled so I said no. He started whining and he was like, "Ohhhh, whyyyy?" And then I asked him what he said, oh yeah, he could have the whole thing. I wasn't paying attention, and it is just my immediate reaction when he is asking me something to say no. Haha.

Olivia, who is usually Miss Literal, no pretend, if Jacob is pretending to be someone or something, she has a fit and says, "No you're not, you're Jacob!" Or tells Mommy or me, "Oh noooooo! Jacob said he's _______!" Or she's telling him that it's not a plane its a chair, you get the picture, and I'm pretty sure I've touched upon it before. Anyway, last week, she decided she'd play pretend. As militantly as she was against pretend in the past. She was pretending to be Jaq the mouse from Cinderella. And Jacob was Gus Gus. And so they were running around, and Olivia had a special voice for when she was Jaq, and when she was talking to me instead of "Blah blah blahblah blah-blah, Travis!" is was "Blahblah blah blah blah-blah-blah, Cinderella!" And I was not allowed to address her or respond in my normal tone of voice, I had to make a Cinderella voice. Ugh.

And it (unfortunately) wouldn't be my blog anymore without something about bathroom stuff. Jacob peed his pants today.

xoxo, Travvy

Comments on my Commentary

Hey all! I just discovered how I can see people's comments on the posts, I saw some a while ago but they were only from Danielle. So I just now read all the comments people have left, I didn't not respond to them on purpose, I just never knew they were there! So thanks for the love haha. Meanwhile, I remembered stuff that happened last week that I forgot to tell last night, so this won't be the main entry, just a random blurb. K-bye.

xoxo, Travvy