Miss Me?

Wow, two weeks... I'm not always exactly consistent, but that is baaaad! I had to let my secretary go. So there I was, night after night, dictating my blog. But no one was typing/posting it. Some underling pointed this out, so I fired him too. Sooooo, without further ado, drum roll please! Drum Roll! Oh wait, I fired the drummer. Dern.

2 Mondays ago, the kids and I went to Memaw and Pop's (or Aunt Betty and Uncle Danny to moi,) house in Biloxi for Spring Break. Biloxi is 3 hours away. It ended up being like the 3 hour tour from Gilligan's Island. I was using my GPS, so we never got lost, and yet it took us 5 hours to get there. At one point I checked the destination I had set, because it tells you what the next exit and or road you're looking for is, and it said Slidell. Slidell is in Louisiana, so I didn't think that seemed right, but I checked where it was taking us, and sure enough it was the right address. I thought maybe I had hit New Orleans by mistake. So I was like whatever, and just followed Kim Cattrall's directions. Kim Cattrall of Sex and the City and Mannequin is the voice of my GPS. Jealous? Anyway, we ended up going through Louisiana, which is not supposed to happen, but we got there. There's two hours I'll never get back, and Uncle Danny said I'll never live down.

We stopped at McDonald's on this misadventure. One of the first mistakes. We went through the drive-thru for lunch. They gave me the kids' kid's meals, and told me to pull down and wait for my part of the order. So I pulled down and we waited absolutely forever, and then they came out with something that wasn't mine. Then we waited even longer, and they came out with something I ordered, but not everything I ordered. So I went in to get the rest of my stuff, and the straws for the kids, because they didn't give me that either. Or a straw for myself, for that matter.

I just breaked to go get some soda, and I was thinking about how I was talking about firing people. I totally just decided that when I have my enormous fashion empire, that I'll have my real staff, and then this sub-staff of actors and actresses, so that they can be my whipping boy. On a bad day, I'll buzz the secretary and tell them to send in so and so, so that I can fire them. I'll have an endless supply of worthless knick-knacks and ceramics, so that I can always have something on my desk, and after I "fire" one of the whipping boys and they run out crying, I can throw it and it will shatter against the door they slammed in the nick of time on their way out.

Where were we? This isn't where we were, but that picture. (I just added a second picture, so by "that picture" I meant the one on the left.) You may or may not remember the story of Olivia climbing that thing and falling through the tire. I was trying to explain what it was and said that I would take a picture next time we went to the park. Somewhere along the way in the lost two weeks we went to the park. And I took the picture. See, even though I wasn't updating, I was still thinking about you!

Right, so I went in and settled the McDonald's order, and we were off. Awhile later, Olivia was having a fit in the back seat, yelling at Jacob. I turned around to look at her, and her door had all this soda running down it. I thought he must have been flinging the straw at her, so I stopped them, and ultimately just pulled into a gas station. I needed a potty break anyway. When we were stopped, I turned completely around, and... Jacob had taken the lid off of his cup and the entire back seat was sopping wet with Sprite. Ever since the whole apple juice spill, he has not been allowed drinks in my car. At least not in motion, but this time I figured I would make an exception. Ugh. I was pretty mad, but it was more of an inconvenience than anything else. I thought how he was lucky it was me, and not my brother and sister in-law, because they are psychotic anal retentive about their cars. Mine is just a beast of burden to me. I called Danielle from this gas station to tattle tale/whine to her about it, and she asked where we were. I told her McComb. When we finally got to Uncle Danny and Aunt Betty's, Aunt Betty told me she talked to Danielle after I did. She said Danielle told her I said we were in McComb, but Danielle thought I meant have meant Magee. Aunt Betty said, No, I think he meant McComb, but that means he's going the wrong direction? McComb is about half way to NOLA. Which I knew, but I just figured Kim Cattrall knew what she was doing...

I had the windows cracked to hopefully dry the seat out, and in one of my mirrors, I saw Jacob reaching up. I started to shout "Jacob NOOO!" or something, but it was too late. He threw something out. Some manner of trash. And then this guy behind me pulled up along side of me, started honking and screaming at me.

Several hours later we eventually pulled in.

Aunt Betty and I went to Boomtown one night, and played video poker, but we didn't "have fun." "Having fun" is like "breaking a leg" in the theatre. I went to the outlets in Gulfport one afternoon, but I didn't buy anything. I was looking at sneakers. When I walked in to Reebok, a girl told me that if you buy two the second pair is half-off. I found one pair and took it up to the register, and the cashier, a different girl than I talked to when I walked in, asked if I knew about the deal. I said yes, and she asked if I couldn't find anything else or didn't want to do that or something. So I said I guess I'd look around again, and she said she'd hold the pair I wanted for me at the register. I looked around, couldn't find anything worthwhile, and decided I didn't want the initial pair either. So I slipped out the back door. Haha.

You may remember my book-a-palooza extravaganza shopping spree. I am almost finished with the Paul Newman book. Whenever I read, I am always finding little spelling errors here and there. I know this blog isn't necessarily a shining example of perfect spelling and grammar, but I don't proofread. (And I also fired my editor.) But in books? So in this Paul Newman book, I noticed an incorrect than/then thing and maybe some other typos along the way. I notice things like that in my books from time to time, so I overlooked it. But then it happened. I was floored. I was reading about the time when Mr. Newman was filming Cat on a Hot Tin Roof with Elizabeth Taylor. The book includes all these little inset photos of people. There was a picture with the caption, "Elizabeth Taylor," but it was the photo above, right. Tippi Hedren was cropped out, but I still recognized the picture immediately as Suzanne Pleshette in The Birds. There are people in the book that I haven't heard of, or at least wouldn't recognize, that I relied on the pictures for. But obviously they aren't trustworthy. Pfft.

Obviously this hasn't been the two weeks worth of playing catch up that needs to be done, but tune back in tomorrow. And I do mean tomorrow this time, for real-real, not for play-play.

xoxo, Travvy